Stuff and More Stuff

Split Pea Soup aka Pea Green Soup

2011-12-16T11:37:00.001-08:00

This has got to be the strangest post I've ever done...and slightly gross, so if you have a weak stomach, don't continue on...lol.
I'd post a picture, but there are some things people just don't want to see *ahem* like green soup. As kids, we called it Pea Green Soup, and laughed our heads off...'cause we were kids, but honestly, it still makes me giggle, and talking with my sister on the phone, the laughter was evident she remembered too. We used to eat it fairly often as kids, and we loved it, until, one dreadful day when we watched my brother Jeff projectile vomit the stuff. We all screamed and then laughed our heads off in true Jones fashion (that was our last name back then). I remember that day being the last day I ate the stuff...until recently.
Sunday was the birth date of my brother Jeff (who passed away this past May). Without fail, when I think of split pea soup (which is not often), I think of Jeff. Sunday, my sister, of all days, made split pea soup. My sister doesn't have many memories of our childhood, and we both know that, so when something happens that points back to childhood, I ask her if she remembers when.... Of course, this time was no different and we laughed and laughed, then she said "you are so gross!" I am! But, I'm not the one who subconsciously made Pea Green Soup on our brother's birthday!
So...there's my random rambling void of rhyme and reason.
Hope you enjoyed. ha ha

My Sister's Wedding Weekend

2011-11-21T15:46:00.000-08:00

She's so lovely!

The picture was stolen from my niece’s pictures on facebook. Of all the pictures I’ve seen so far, this was the best.

My sister, aka “sisterface” is one of my favorite people on the planet. I can’t function when she is mad at me (it’s been a long time, but oh yes, she’s been mad at me…we’re sisters…duh). As children, we had our wars…black eye, shaved head, tattle-tailing, and “I’ll say you ate your oatmeal, but you have to obey my every demand for a week”. I was the little sister, she always took care of me…she hated me for it; but, in her way, loved me in spite of it. Today when we’re together, we’re just stupid crazy and always have a great time.
I think it was about this time last year when she asked me to officiate her wedding. Of course I couldn’t turn my sisterface down. Four weeks of severe anxiety led up to the wedding. It wasn’t just the wedding though, I had visitors in just days before my family was to come in, my former roommate of 3 years was getting married and I was helping with the shower one weekend and driving across town the next weekend for the wedding. I also had a huge church transition during that time, ministry meetings, and had a new roommate move in and was trying to reorganize my house to accommodate her. Whew! I hadn’t lost so much sleep since college. And to top it all off…my boss was the groom!
The day of the wedding came, I closed up the shop early to rehearse (not that it helped) and get ready. Sisterface asked me to use her Bible during the ceremony. The Bible I gave her when I was about 15, on fire for the Lord, and deeply desiring her to know Christ. She did accept Christ, and to this day she reads that Bible almost every morning (I say almost ‘cause it didn’t make it to her suitcase for her honeymoon *ahem-hee hee*). It was fun to read the inscription I wrote to her and see the verses I highlighted…made me choke back some tears. That’s where the sentiment ended. Sisterface and Bossman decided to pull a prank, and at the part…you know the part…“should anyone show just cause…”had everyone stand and clear their throat...nice. Freaked me out…my mind went blank…I could hardly regain composure, but should I have expected anything less? Can’t wait to see the video, it should be filled with many “stop it”, “behave”, and “just say it right” phrases. Whew, had fun, glad it’s over! They are on their honeymoon now…yay. J
It was nice to get to see some of the family again. My brother Jeff’s family stayed with me (all that was missing was Jeff…and he was certainly missed). My brother Vincent stayed with me as well. I had not seen him since I was about 14 I think. It was nice to see him again after so long.
The weekend closed with a trip downtown with my nieces, ‘cause downtown is my happy place. J My niece Brandi made such a profound statement that night. She talked about how wonderful it was to watch & hear people delight in the surroundings to which we’ve become so accustomed. She said it gave her a whole new appreciation for the things we see every day. How right she is.
May you find beauty in your “everyday” surroundings.

Meeting the Fam

2011-08-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

So this is the weekend I got to meet the family I never knew I had. I took a road trip to Oklahoma City, OK. Friday morning came and I was as nervous as could be...it's not like I haven't ever traveled and met pure strangers, a person or two or ten that have shown themselves friendly by speaking a word or two over twitter, blogging, or facebook. This time it's different. These are a people who are most certainly friendly and loving and willing to meet, and though they were friendly, they were strangers...or were they?

Forty years ago, a series of events took place (events in which no one really has the full truth) which separated me from my biological family; not just me, but my entire family was separated. These past forty years have been a struggle for some of my family members who believed they could have done something more to keep us all together. It's not their fault, everyone was doing all they knew to do. They would search for the next 40 years for us and we had no idea there was anyone to look in the first place.

One family member went out of the way to search for the family, and eventually came up with a name, called that person and was met with love and open arms. So, we are all over the next couple weeks, headed to OK to meet the family. This weekend is my time. :)

I left at 4 on Friday and got into OK around 2:30am. The ride didn't seem so long because a long time friend of mine came with last minute to see her family out here. The conversation was great and the trip wasn't so bad. Auntie Jaye met me at 5:15. I could hardly sleep, and she didn't sleep at all. She was at the hotel at 4:15 waiting for 5am so she could meet me. She's such a doll.

Auntie and I kept saying the same phrases...it was the funniest thing...we laughed so much. Even personality wise. She waited until she got a good feel for me and who I was before she really opened up. She loves the Lord! As time passed, He was just about all she would talk about...love that!

Auntie took me to meet Uncle Frank and Uncle Martin. They were outside Uncle Franks house and looked at me thinking I looked like family but not knowing who I was. :) Good times!
This is Uncle Frank, Auntie Jaye, and Uncle Martin. And below is me and Uncle Frank, and Uncle Frank back in the day...kinda looks like Richard Gere...lol.

So that was my journey for yesterday...had a blast. Today I will be attending a Pentecostal church with another member of the family I have not yet met...kinda excited...kinda. ;) More to come.

Family, family, FAMILY!

2011-08-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

So much has happened over the past two weeks I don't really know where to begin. Company has been in and out of my place, I've been running here and there, and right about now, all I am sure of is that I need some serious sleep.

Two weeks ago...maybe three...time escapes me, I received a phone call from my foster brother saying that Uncle Bob was being flown to Swedish Hospital with a brain aneurysm, and he and a cousin and Grandma were driving to Denver and asked if I had room for them. Of course I did, then he mentioned that my foster dad, his wife, and another cousin from TX was coming in too...yikes! I said I'd have to pitch some tents in the living room but that we would somehow manage. Well, most of them got hotel rooms (thank goodness...love company, love family, but whew), but the cousins & my lil bro stayed with me. What a time of drama, fun, and amazing God things. :) I love my peeps so much!

So...during this visit, my 1/2 brothers girlfriend was searching for family...AND FOUND THEM!!! Woot Woot! I grew up being told my biological mother was an only child...that was probably the biggest lie I ever believed. There were 14 siblings, and 10 are still alive. I will be driving out to Oklahoma City this weekend to meet a few. For now, here are some pics of my peeps:

They started it all, my great grandpa and my grandparents:

Aren't they just amazingly gorgeous??

My Auntie Jaye, she has brought me so much joy just getting to know her. She is kind and so very loving, full of grace, and always has a kind word and open arms.

So, I'm headed out to Oklahoma City, OK this weekend, and I cannot wait to meet my biological family for the first time. There will definitely be a weekend blog, so stay tuned. :)

...and then there were 5

2011-05-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

We were a group of 6 children, abandoned in an apartment complex on the outskirts of San Diego, CA in 1971. The oldest of us was 9; I was the youngest and 8 months old. Social services placed us all in separate homes by two's, the two oldest boys, the two younger boys, and my sister and I. Some of us had it good, as far as foster homes go, some of us not so good. After four years, we were handed back to our biological mother for a trial period, and during that time our last names were changed to Jones and we were taken out of California to live out our childhood in hidden torture. We all left "home" very young, very tough, and much scarred.
A week ago I said my forever goodbye to the first of us siblings. Jeff was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, an artist, and an excellent cook. He met a wonderful woman with children and they eventually added one to the brood. He had a problem with alcohol though; it claimed his liver, and eventually helped claim his life. He always felt guilty for leaving me...even asking for me before he slipped away. We lost track of each other when he left "home," but a few years later we reconnected. I was 16, and at a festival in NM (The Great Enchilada Festival haa haa) when I heard my name being called. I tried not to turn around because I didn't go by that name anymore, but recognized his voice and turned to see my brother again. He kept track of me from then on, even attending the church where my foster dad ministered. I'm happy he's no longer in pain, sad to see him go, and just a tad bit jealous that he got to see Jesus first...I sure will miss him.
I left for TX the night Jeff passed away. (Thanks to my siesta's who prayed my hoopdie down there and back.) I stayed with my adopted parents in Trinidad, CO Friday night and a foster brother in NM Saturday night. Sunday I arrived in TX. It broke my heart seeing my sis-in-law. I hugged her neck and choked back tears. Soon my biological mother arrived. As I walked passed her to hug my brother, she asked when I was going to arrive. When all heads turned toward me, she guessed who I was. :) It was such a strange feeling to be around this woman who tortured us as children, the woman from whom I tried so hard to earn love. As she stood there staring at me while ringing her hands, I realized I didn't need her, or her approval, or her love for that matter...the tables had now turned as she waited for me to turn my attention toward her. I said "hi" and listened to her talk and walked away...that was it. I didn't talk to her again. I didn't need to. I heard her stories and realized she is still a narcissistic, psychotic, pathological liar, and I didn't feel the need to respect her for any loss she might feel...I KNOW Jeff wouldn't either. I understand that sounds harsh, but had she owned up to anything instead of disrespecting his memory by telling lies, I would have respected her for simply being a human being who gave birth to a fabulous little boy who she had to say goodbye to far too early.
It was a strange time to say the least; a time of facing fears, enduring heartbreak, realizing who I am now apart from who I used to be, and a time of sad but sweet good-byes. However, during this time, I gained a deep need to know the paternal side of my family, and I am now on a hunt...this part to be continued.
I know this is long, and not exactly happy, but I wanted to share it anyway. Thanks for bearing with me.

It's Like Coming Home

2011-03-18T04:48:00.000-07:00

THE FARM (Isn't it cute!)

My friend Janice and I went to Kansas City, Missouri on a road trip to attend the International House of Prayer and another church there, as well as to have a little fun. On our way, we stopped just outside Colby, Kansas to stay overnight with some very dear people I know, visit a little, and be on our way.

In my youth I was in a home for homeless & "throw-away" teens called The Lighthouse for Girls. Marvin & Topper were the directors of the home. The home is no longer there, but Marvin & Topper are still there, doing Kingdom business from a little farm. After I put my stuff down, I held Topper and said "it feels like home." She said "well, y'are home". Melted my heart! (I can still hear the Kansas twang in her beautiful voice now as I think back.) It was late, so Topper was off to bed, and told us she needed to be up at 5:30 to bottle feed the calves. I gasped "I wanna help!" She said "no, you don't, you need to sleep in, it's awfully early." I could hardly sleep that night waiting to hear the shuffling of early morning feet...finally I heard her up and jumped out of bed ready to feed calves if I had to do it in my jammies! She told me to go back to bed, they would go out at 7:30. I was too excited to sleep though, I was dressed and ready in seconds. I miss the "chores" of farm life. It's like really living...I don't know how else to explain it. Here's some pics of the little guys we fed. They were taken with my cell phone, so they aren't that great, but the calves are just adorable!

Below are the cows about a year after bottle feeding. It's so cute, M&T said they don't ever have to herd the cattle, they just call and the cows follow. They were debating coming up so we could pet them, but they eventually did...and I was licked by their cat-like tongues...gross, but so cool! And their horses...ohhhhh...so beautiful!

Our stop in Kansas was probably the highlight of my trip. I'm not far from M&T, but sadly I don't often visit. Strange how that is, considering how much I love my people and how fun their place is.

So M&T always load me up with books & devotionals & study material every time I am there...they crack me up. They loaded Janice up too. Well, on our way to Kansas City, MO, I was reading one of the books they gave us out loud. :) We were so into the book that neither one of us realized that so much time had passed until we heard the clunk of the engine just OUTSIDE Topeka...haa haa. We were out of gas. My carpanion was a bit stressed out, but I was having a great time on the side of the highway, and I knew help was on the way...and it was, we were rescued in about 30 minutes. Things never seem to go as planned, but when away from the regular stresses of every day life, to me, it's all adventure. :D

My adventure didn't end there. IHOP is such an amazing place of 24/7 prayer and worship. I wrote down many of the words to the music that was being sung as if it was the Lord singing it to me. I could have stayed there for hours on end, and the next time I go alone, I certainly will. One thing I know now more than ever, His hand was over us everywhere we went, and in everything that was sung & spoken over me during the time I was there. He was thinking of me (Psalm 139:17) and at this very moment I am so aware of it! He just never ceases to amaze me, and I pray that some day I will amaze Him right back.

Ahh New Year

2011-01-02T22:34:00.000-08:00

I always love the beginning of a new year. It's not that I really think that I get a clean slate, because God doesn't change at the start of a new year, only my mindset...for however long that may be. I just love the feeling that starting over brings...especially when just about everyone else in the world is doing it too.

Last year was pretty rough for me. I attended some events that lifted my spirit and broke my heart all at the same time. I attended other events and received answers to prayers and became closer to people I knew and didn't know (but should have). I saw death...listening to the sobs and strained voice of a dear friend who lost her mother with no warning; I held my best friends hand as she struggled through the death of her marriage, I said goodbye to a woman of God unlike any I have ever met before. I saw life...rekindling two friendships I had lost touch with 25 years ago. I finally let go of a job I had no business clinging to; and, though it doesn't make sense, I am happy & blessed. I make less money than I have since my 20's, but God has blessed me so much in these last 3 months I have not missed a dime! When I say 2010 was rough...I mean it was rough...I'm just going to be straight and get it all out there. It was almost the end of me. My health was taking a fast plunge...among other things, and I put on a smile pretending everything was fine, but I had given up...emergency prayer chain kind of given up (ps...thanks for the prayers...my hand's waiving...yep...it was me). This past year is one I am running from.

On to the new year. I don't want to make any resolutions; but, I do want to be resolved to live my life with the Lord in charge. I want to fine tune my senses. I want to see what He sees, hear what He wants me to hear, and be obedient doing what He wants me to do. I want to sense His presence, that's all. Sounds simple, but I know it wont be. I may keep you posted along the way too...how about that? ;)

I hope we all have the greatest new year ever.

Success

2010-08-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

I was given a task to do two poems for REACH (a ministry reaching out to the Aurora, CO community). I figured after the last three weeks I've had, it's probably best to pull from the Stoker archives. However, I felt a little guilty doing that, so I sat down and wrote one before I headed there. I thought I'd share it with whomever may be passing through. :)

Success

Once told "the sky is the limit"

We watched that story change minute by minute

Endlessly searching for perfect occupation

To acquire a nice car, house, expensive vacation.

Where did the "musts" of society creep in?

Youth never held obligation to give in.

Did desire drown with increasing association?

Keeping up with the Joneses, charging to credit inflation.

Now caught up in societies military-like formation.

It is not just you, it is the entire nation.

Success is not the car or the house,

it is not the bank account, the number of children,

or whether or not you have a spouse.

It is that first glance toward heaven as you open your eyes.

It is setting aside all of societies lies.

It is realizing the passion you had from the start.

It is finishing the race with all of your heart.

It is becoming the hero you knew you would once be.

It is knowing the world doesn't begin and end with me.

Another Journey

2010-06-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

I've been on plenty of journey's before, and I am always up for a new challenge, so I began another one last Tuesday. August 1st I will be doing a triathlon (Tri-for-the-Cure). I used to love doing runs, but somehow got away from them and gained so much weight it was scary to even think of doing one again. So the week before last I decided it was time to get back in shape. Actually, I decided a very long time ago, but lacked the motivation to do it. Well, when the Tri came up, I grabbed on. I figured this was something that would propel me into actually getting something done. Well, 50 days from the race I realized nothing was really done; so, I asked my best friend (who is doing the tri with me) if she would do intensive training with me and she agreed. So, I've been working out 5-6 times a week doing two bricks at a time...like biking 12 miles and running/walking 3+ miles, or swimming 1/2 mile and running.... Once a week I work out at the gym to build my core, and I take Sundays off. It's been fun, but a lot of work.

I am also eating a raw diet...and absolutely loving it. In fact I spent much of the day trying out recipes...some new, some I have done before...I remember how much I love eating raw. Here's my dinner tonight: I made cheese perogies, cauliflower couscous, and a salad with mock tuna. The cheese is made with nuts, nama shoyu, and red pepper, so it's not really cheese and the outside is jicama. The mock tuna is made with soaked and ground sunflower seeds, but there is dulce in it that makes it taste sort of like tuna...it's an awesome replacement. The cauliflower is the couscous and has a yummy blend of parsley, mint, and cilantro mixed with lemon and olive oil. My fam tends to worry when I eat this way. I get questions like "how are you getting your protein" and my friend asked how I was getting carbs for energy. Well, it's all right there...nuts and seeds=protein, and probably more than most get eating a steak for dinner, tomato = fruit, veggies of course, jicama & carrots = carbs (any root veggie is a carb), only things missing are dairy & grains. We consume dairy products mainly for the calcium; but, calcium is not just milk, it is found in spinach, sesame seeds, bok choy, almonds, and many other foods. In the same way, grains are not necessarily needed because one can get all the nutrients needed from other foods. So, I'm staying healthy, and for my Friday weigh-in, I actually lost 6lbs.
Now, I'm not gung-ho on all this, I actually allow myself one meal a week to splurge; however, for the sake of recovery, I will make sure the meal is healthy...this week I had Indian food (eggplant masaala stuff over rice), and next week my sister is coming over for sushi (and I will introduce her to a couple raw dishes). :) I just want my body to feel its absolute best when I head out to participate in this triathlon.
I have a way to go, but I am back on the right track, and excited about it.

His Hand of Protection

2010-06-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

"For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways" (PS 91:11)

I am forever amazed at the vast amount of protection I have had over my life.
Ever stop to wonder "what if..."? I have...far more often than I would like to admit. During my glimpse of the past this weekend, I was struck with the realization of exactly what could have happened "if only." Praise God He knows better than I which way is best. His word says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9) While I struggled throughout life in various ways and made choices (good and bad); as my life was shuffled here and there, He never failed to go before me, to guide, guard, and protect me. Right now, I am at a place beyond all awareness and understanding, that His hand was over me the entire time.
Lord, You are everything to me! There is no way I could ever repay You, or even thank You enough for who You are in my life. I ADORE YOU!!!!

Glimpse of the Past & Hope for the Future

2010-06-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

Glimpse of the Past

About 3 weeks ago I saw a facebook update from someone I have known since I was 13. She updated her status with something like...headed to Denver to see my son. So I asked if we could meet for coffee...and we met at a coffee shop called Corino's. It just happened to be a day when a group was playing live worship in the coffee house...amazing. We have written to each other since I met her...real mail even...lol. Since I have kept every letter & just about every card ever written/sent to me since 1985 (in binders in chronological order), I brought most of her letters for her to read again. It was fun watching her go through and remember. Her son and I talked while she poured over the past and suddenly she stopped looked up and began to read again out loud "I am so glad you turned out to be" then she stopped again, held my face in her hands, looked me square in the eyes, and started over "I'm so glad you turned out to be such a beautiful young lady with goals and dreams." She said "you were one person I could never let go of, you had so many obstacles to overcome." Overcome I did, but only by the grace of God. Life got crazy after I met her, and it was and still is such a great thing to have her in my life.

Another glimpse was meeting two of my friends from 25 years ago. Debbie came out to attend the Deeper Still conference with me, and Victoria lives in a Denver suburb, we just haven't ever seen each other. Seeing both of them was like seeing them a week after we parted...it was as if time was stilled...they even looked the same! I love it! We all got together last night and were up VERY late talking and reminiscing. It's amazing to look back and actually be able to see the hand of God guiding, directing, protecting, and delivering. I am amazed by Him, and so honored to see my friends after all this time.

Hope for the Future

These were my lovely guests for the weekend. Left to right: Holly Smith, Debbie Helker, Melana Cummings, and me.

This past weekend was all about going deeper in God. I have struggled for about a month with where I am in life, where I want to be, and really if this is all worth the struggle. I told Holly not long before the conference that I really need to hear from God. I don't know how to begin to tell all that this weekend has meant to me.

We sat on my balcony early Friday morning, and each of us shared our expectations for this event. I wasn't the only one with a tall order and the Lord had some work to do. Not one of us was disappointed in the least. Friday evening, Kay Arthur spoke on shattered dreams. One of the first things she said was "is your ambition to please God, or to fulfill your longing." Right then and there, I knew we were headed for a doozie of a weekend. Friday night Debbie and I were up fairly late. We couldn't stop talking about what we had learned and just processing it all. I recall leaning over my bed and looking at her and telling her exactly where I was, and not only was every issue I had addressed by Priscilla Shirer the next day, she actually said word for word what I had said to Debbie the night before...word for word. I could hardly pull myself together after all was said and done. I am so glad they provided napkins in the box lunch because I cried while I ate...really, all I wanted was to lay out on the floor and pour my heart out to God. EVERYTHING Priscilla said hit me like a ton of bricks; but, the one thing I will cling to was the statement "The treasure is not in the discovery of His will, but in the journey in finding it." She spoke of the gap between the present and the calling, that it is the margin He has placed there to set us up to equip us, and having that gap creates the capacity for God to move. The last speaker was Beth Moore. The one thing I took from her teaching was to remain "Coram Deo - Before the face of God".

I felt so blessed to be able to hear the teaching of 3 awesome individuals, and even more blessed that the Lord joined us in our balcony & bed time conversations, and met each of us where we were. He is concerned with every aspect of our lives, and I am so very amazed by Him! It was a full weekend. Now to put it all into action, because I have a renewed hope for the future.

The Unlikely Mother

2010-05-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

Mother's day has always been an odd day for me. I was once grateful that I did not have to feel obligated to pay respect to someone with whom I would never have respect. As an adult, I would stay away from church on Mother's Day as it seemed to be a reminder of what I thought I did not have, and worse yet, what I thought I would never become.
About a month ago I was asked to write a poem about mothers to recite at church on Mother's Day. I stared blankly into the face of someone whom I thought, quite frankly, had lost her ever loving mind. I wanted to turn her down on the spot, but she said she really thought the Lord wanted her to ask me. How do you put the brakes on that one? I said I would think about it, and eventually I agreed to do it.
When I began to think about Mother's Day and what it was and was not to me, I realized I was not the only one who at one time or another painfully endured the hoopla placed around mothers on the day the USA calls Mother's Day. I looked to Isaiah 54, my most cherished passage of scripture, and all I can say from here is girlfriend, if you think you do not have a mother look around you, look at your past and how you got where you are today; and, if you think you are not a mother, think again.

The Unlikely Mother

She stands alone with none to call her own

barren, unmarried, or her moment has passed on

whatever the case, she is crowned with grace

for Isaiah says many will fill her empty place

she always opens her door to just one more

if there is nowhere else, they can sleep on the floor

her words are as strong as the confidence she carries

not for a moment being thought of as just ordinary

she is a wisdom provider, a mercy giver, a Christ lover

she is blessed among women, she is the unlikely mother

she may not have given birth to her child

but she will stand in the gap to keep them undefiled

she cradles her children with unconditional love

because her heart understands they were sent from above

she is a Truth seeker, a Word speaker, a secret keeper

maybe even a cover

but above all else, she is the unlikely mother

She has enriched my own life

so I will reach out to another

and embrace the responsibilities

of the unlikely mother.

Today I am thankful for the mothers I have had through the years. I am most thankful for the woman who adopted me as an adult...after years of being forgotten by fosters and such, she loved me enough to call me her own. I only pray I can live up to the standards I've been shown.

Faith: Between trusting & believing

2010-02-21T23:23:00.000-08:00

A little something for Angie's 30 days of faith.

My testimony from childhood is a mixed up, confusing, and jumbled mess of intertwined lives and long drawn out personal battles which, quite frankly, lead me to be who I am today. The biggest obstacle I have ever had to overcome is releasing who I thought I was, believing in who He is, and trusting in who He made me to be. It took an overwhelming amount of trust and faith…which to me are very closely connected. Trust is letting go of everything (self preservation, fear, worry) and giving the Lord full control; but, faith is the exact moment of connection when we allow the Lord to become intimately involved in our lives.
I remember talking to a friend once and her bringing the conversation to a place where I finally realized that all my life I truly believed that I saved myself. I ran away from home as a preteen, I survived on the streets, I made life happen and I, I, I. She asked me where the Lord was during that time in my life. I’m certain I gave her a pitiful answer, but her question shook me to the core. So, I began to ask Him where He was at every point of my life, and eventually I realized that nothing I have ever done in life was without Him by my side…He gave me courage, He protected my life. It takes faith to allow God to show himself to us.
Today, I deeply trust Him, I believe He is who The Bible says He is, and somewhere in the middle, a light goes off…a mental “ping” resounds deep within me. I call that faith.

The Voice of Another

2010-02-20T08:59:00.000-08:00

The Voice of Another

I live my life at a fairly even keel…with one kink…living alone leaves me with nothing but my thoughts, His thoughts, and the thoughts of others. I believe I have a fairly good balance of the combination; however, at times I falter when my thoughts get in the way of His thoughts; but, I have some phenomenal people in my life who share their thoughts to pull me back into alignment when needed. That’s how it all works for me. Recently, I shared a fault of mine that I have been dealing with, not just to share this fault, but I was hoping to receive insight from a friend whom I know to be steadfast in this area. I was about to enter into prayer time, so I figured some quick counsel prior to prayer would be awesome. I was wrong. Instead of taking my fault before God and allowing Him to work it out, I opened myself to the voice of another. I find it interesting how easy it is to get away from following a voice you have grown accustomed to and follow the voice of another.
I’m reminded of King Hezekiah (2 Kings 18-19) who loved God so much he destroyed all the items of idolatry. The Bible says he trusted God and “there was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him.” (18:5) Over and over, the King of Assyria taunted him & all his people saying (in Kate’s words): who do you think you are all confident and stuff…and you think the Lord God is going to save you? Then he hit the people where it hurt by reminding them of the high places and altars Hezekiah tore down…and tossed a bit more confusion into the mix by claiming that these things were The Lord’s high places. He made statements which were somewhat true, but skewed enough by the lies these people once believed, that it shook them up. Hezekiah himself was shook up. He pretty much said woa, we need to hear from Isaiah on this one. Isaiah came back and said NOPE God said I got this one. Of course the king of Assyria came taunting again saying: you are listening to who…don’t you see that I have taken out every god in every surrounding country, now be afraid. This time Hezie got on his face himself and worshiped the God he KNEW (I have to quote him here…chokes me up) “and Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: “O Lord, God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. Give ear, O Lord, and hear; open your eyes, O Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to insult the Living God.”(19:15-16) Such an honest prayer. He said I know who You are and You are True, but I’m faced with some words that are also truthful. I believe he reaches the heart of God with his final words in prayer. He said “Now, O Lord our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all kingdoms on earth may know that you alone, O Lord, are God.” (2 Kings 19:19). Isaiah came back into the picture to reassure Hezie that God said he would clean up…and God showed up strong and mighty!
It wasn’t long before God spoke to my heart and said “who are you listening to” … I continued to “but” and bawl and He again spoke to my heart and said “who are you listening to.” I listened that time…to the Lord, let him do His thing, and then I went to the Word. It was the most interesting thing…I am doing an inductive study of Luke and I happened to stop right at the place where I needed help…as I continued I realized my Daddy was teaching me. He showed up strong and mighty, because that’s who He is…Strong and Mighty. The voice of another I will not hear.

Welcome 2010

2010-01-01T11:46:00.000-08:00

My first blog of the new year...feels so strange. I've managed to escape the blogging world for about a half year...I don't know why...yes I do...2009..ugh. The year started off well enough, I was searching for employment and venturing to begin Destiny's Refuge at the same time. It was both exciting and terrifying. I dropped the ball on DR and jumped fully into my new job in accounting. I suppose it was easier than fulfilling my hearts desire. 2009 continued with not much to speak of. I put my all into employment and returned home exhausted. Mid year I dropped my scripture memory with all my siesta's...sure will be missing them in Houston in a couple weeks, thanks Ang for attempting to keep me running.
It's interesting how the new year begins and it is simply another day connected to the day before; however, we somehow see it as a fresh start. I am grateful for a fresh start! I can't make any promises this year, but I am beginning it with expectation, and my plans include coming out of the isolation I have created for myself and reconnecting with people. I pray for my siesta's this year, I hope it is the best ever; and, with all the humility I can muster, I am hopping up, dusting myself off and taking one step forward. Happy New Year!

Phil 3:13-14

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Headed for my High School Reunion

2009-07-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my hotel room in Santa Fe, New Mexico getting some last minute blogging done before I head out again. I decided to return to Las Cruces for my High School reunion. Why? I don't know. High School wasn't exactly an eventful time for me, and if the truth be told, I really don't even remember the people I hung out with. I left Las Cruces shortly after graduation to attend art school in CO...when I left...I left! I have not been "home" in 19 years.

I'm staying with my foster sister, her hubby, and her 6 girls...yes 6 GIRLS! My foster parents have since divorced and married other people, and my foster brothers are...well, a mess. Every single family member loved and served God once upon a time, now most just love Him at a distance. I'm a bit ambiguous about the reunion and returning "home"; but, I can't help but think I'm on a bit of a mission...lol...kinda like the Blues Brothers ... "I'm on a mission from God." I am praying that whatever I do while I am there, I do it well.

Back to High School. My favorite memory: Once a week during lunch, in the science room, I would debate creation/evolution with a guy who claimed to be an atheist. His parents were Baptists, so I knew that the debate wasn't on creation and evolution, it was really over the hurt he had experienced causing him to question his faith...but I continued to argue creation. Every week the class had more and more people there to watch and listen. One day the class was packed out...people were standing in the hall, and I gave up. I remember telling him that I knew the whole debate wasn't about creation and evolution because deep down we all knew the Truth; and, what we had to come to grips with was why we allow education to infiltrate our belief system only in the areas where we seem to need answers to cover our pain. I don't remember everything I said, but I remember it was more of a ministry to him rather than debate, and I ended saying that one day even his knee will bow and proclaim that Jesus is Lord. I remember he had no response. He just stood there, so I left and the entire class began cheering and clapping. Later my science teacher stopped me and said she enjoyed our discussions and was sorry to see them end. I hope I see him there.

Feel free to share your own fond HS memory.

Love you all.

Saying Goodbye

2009-07-01T18:31:00.001-07:00

I couldn't help myself...she's sooooooooo precious!

Tomorrow my niece is moving to Ohio to live with her boyfriend. My heart is broken! I've spent two weeks (since I found out) in tears praying my guts out for a change of mind...to no avail. I don't understand the lifestyle, I don't understand the mindset, I don't understand knowing Christ and justifying sin. I offered to marry them before they left Colorado, but that was met with silence. Maybe I'm harsh, maybe one could even call me judgmental, but there's my stuff...maybe I need to work on it...maybe not.

I'll miss my Bab's most of all! I'll miss our dancing together, our praying together, I'll miss the way she sings Holy Spirit Raaaiiiinnnnnn Dowwoooooooonnnn. I'll miss her Saturday morning snuggles in Auntie's feather bed...and her good morning hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi's 'till I finally peek at her and shower her with a hundred morning kisses, I'll miss the way she holds my face in her tiny hands, and I'll miss holding her's in mine. I hope she will always remember that Auntie loves her more than anything on this earth. AND, I hope and pray, and will continue to pray, that she never forgets how to worship! She loves her some WORSHIP! She always comes to my house and grabs her favorite cd, Hillsong You Shine, so tonight I went out and bought her a music and story book FP3 player and loaded the cd on it.

I don't have much else to say...for now my heart just weeps 'cause I'm already missing her.

Tasting the Flavor of Life

2009-06-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

Well, the every day thing is obviously not working, so I thought I would post something before daily became weekly, then monthly...you get the picture. I suppose once a week is a decent quest...I'll try it...no promises though.

Panera offers the perfect place to eat lunch and blog (I love Panera), so that is exactly what I am doing. I have on my plate a most delicious chipotle turkey or chicken (I don't know) sandwich. This sandwich is so spicy, but equally balanced. I couldn't help but wonder what life would taste like if it had a flavor. Kind of strange I know, but I thought about prayers going up to God as a sweet smelling fragrance...come to think of it, aren't we the "salt of the earth"...that's what Matthew 5:13 says. Now I know it's more of a metaphor, but really, do we spice life up?

If I had to choose my flavor, I think I would like to be a chipolte pepper...just like the one on my sandwich...it has such a sweet flavor, but in a few minutes, you get all fired up after chewing it. Ah, yes, that would be nice; unfortunately, I'm more of an avocado...I'm a bit flavorless without salt, but with salt and maybe some chili and tomato's and a touch of lime...I'm off and running...can't stop the flavor. Yes, that's it...avacado...I also have a pit of life within me ready to go...waiting to be suspended above the water to reach my fullest potential. Hmmm, come to think of it, I wonder if I am ripe or over-ripened with those little stringy roots trying to achieve life within its little scope of being.

Anyway, just rambling on, but it's fun. So, what is the flavor of life? Nacho's...a little meaty, sometimes a bit cheesy (like now) with a touch of cream and spice on top?

A Week of Memories - I remember...RAIN.

2009-06-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

I am challenging myself to write "I remember..." every day for a week. Hopefully this will propel me back into blog world. Just a few small blogs trips down memory lane. :) I hope you will join me by leaving your own memory lane experience in the comments.

It has been raining so much here lately, but everything is the most vivid of greens, and tons of gorgeous wildflowers are popping up, it's difficult to complain with all the beauty that surrounds me. I was thinking about the rain we were expecting this afternoon when I remembered the rain in my early childhood days, living in the New Mexico desert, FAR out in the desert (aka "the boonies").

I remember the aromatic smell of the desert...the initial fresh rain smell we all know so well, the heavy downpour that raised the dust 6 inches from the ground before it saturated everything, and the smell of the wet desert brush as the rain on it evaporated, filling the air with a hint of sage (I actually couldn't cook with sage until I was about 30...I guess I always thought of it as a weed). I remember at the first sound of rain we would all run outside and play in the bar ditches until our newly created pool/water slide became a mud bath. Playing in the rain was the greatest thing, even with the thunder and lightning cracking all around us. Growing up, one learns how dangerous it might be to play in thunderstorms; however, it never scared us, it only urged us to scream with delight all the louder...we were on top of the world, we were invincible, we were children.

Catching Up

2009-06-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Ok...so let me think back to February, when I actually posted last, and try to remember what has been going on.
*sisterface moved in: that was at the beginning of February. She thought she was going to be moving into a house soon, so why not...4 months later...lol. I actually love having her here. She makes my coffee in the morning, provides conversation that doesn't consist of the usual "feed me" mew I receive from my cats. She should be closing on her house next month; I think I may need to find a roommate...it's gonna be lonely.
*computer was captured by aliens: in all my days of Internet surfing I have never seen so many Internet windows open so fast! Before they could finish destroying my computer, I grabbed all the wires and yanked...it's actually quite fun...try it the next time you don't know what in the world is happening to your computer (every day is a bit extreme though).
*the geeks kicked puter thermoplastic and took back what belonged to me: took all my money in the process.
*had to get a job: This was actually an interesting thing. I knew I would be out of work for 6 months, and planned accordingly...I spoke with people who are leaders over me, and whom I dearly respect, and they were ok with that as well. Still, I continually put in applications and resume's during those months, and at times was fairly upset that no one was responding to my 200+ attempts to seek employment. Why was I upset when I knew I'd be out of work or 6 months? Well, 'cause I think I'm all that sometimes...lol. Seriously, I wanted people to want me even if I didn't want them (try not to judge here...just confess...lol). Yeah, my pride got hurt; however, month 7 made up for it.
*got a job: It's actually great to be working again. I am working as a temp to hire (they call it a "working interview") at an electronics company in their accounting department. I know I let you all in on my future plans, and I am still going ahead...just moving slower than planned.
*graduated: finally...after 5 years. I thought for sure I would graduate in 2008, but stuff and more stuff happens. I'm done though! So, since that is the most important news, here are some photo's of the big day...gotta introduce you to my peeps:

Was walking out with the class and Dad jumps out in front of me and snapped a pic. Goofy pic, but Dad's rock!

Dad, me, and mom. Now I know I don't look like them. I am adopted...they are the greatest peeps!

Sisterface, me, & my niece Desi.

Me on my cell phone of course. My Sylvia (pastor's wife) and of course, my pastor were there, so I was trying to figure out where they were so they could meet my folks and so I could get a picture with them; however, while I was hunting them down, mom and dad took off. Someone else has a pic with me and Sylvia (& Pastor Phil...lol), I just have a picture of me talking to her.

So my good friend Neddra (the little yellow dot in the center of the picture...lol) missed my graduation because she had to "work"...she lied...and I think still needs to repent. Meanwhile she was pulling together a surprise party. When I got back in my car ('cause I thought we were going to a restaurant...and we were burning daylight waiting) they all came outside to surprise me. Was pretty awesome!

This is my mentor Joyce Works. She is such an awesome woman - doesn't mess around - I do. Incredible testimony, steadfast faith, powerful! Only once in my life have I ever met someone who oozes the Word of God like she does. I am sooo priveleged to have her as my mentor.

This is my friend Pam. Her words are forever uplifting!

Me & Babs (she's grown huh), Desi, Siserface, Frances (aka JoJo). My biological family. It looks like we all tested the punch before the party got started, but I assure you, we all just naturally look that goofy!

Ms Kaycee, center stage. She's a blast! The friendliest person you'll ever meet.

My niece Alex, my sis Beth, and bro in-law Sam.

Good Times...Good Times!

Psalm 19 Interpretive

2009-02-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

As one looks around, everything in this earth loudly exclaims the existence of God. From the skies to the sea, from the north to the south, and from the east to the west; it all shows His intricate workmanship. Man does his best to understand and even sometimes replace God through scientific endeavors. There is so much about His creation that man will never know, even languages that don't have a name yet. Our need to know got out of control causing God to put law into place to establish a social norm of acceptable behavior to keep society protected and in order. The law represented His wisdom which is our protection and guide. A light unto our feet that keeps us from falling, as Psalm 119:105 describes. It was also established to show man how impossible it is to be perfect and how much we need God. Following the law created a type of perfection or standard of righteousness, as much as could be obtained by man in his own power. It was a way to bridge the gap between God and man...to free him, in essence, because Christ was not yet on the scene. The statutes (laws as well) were put in place to witness (sort of a contract by God) that when the law is followed, God will in turn do for man, causing people of lower classes to be wise...to sit among princes (Psalm 113:8). The psalmist understood all this and desired from deep within to follow God's ways. He was pleased when he looked upon God's awesome creation, but even more so, he longed to in turn be just as pleasing in the eyes of God.

Take a look around, the color, splendor, decor of the skies

To say there is no God; what's left but to die

God's work, perfection, flawless protection, that no man can deny

What man can understand what God has planned

Knowledge? I laugh at your futile attempt to college

Racing fast, trying to understand the past

While the stars in the sky sing through the night

Don't ask...don't tell, study your way into hell

Man is a god? What don't you understand?

Your attempt to know is so far below

Relax...take a breath.

Byzantine, Habe, Landa, telugu

Some of the dialects in which you may not have a clue

And yet the heavens have heard them all

Limitless, endless, infinite sound pouring out from the sea to ground

He contained the light and makes it obey

It gives us sustenance throughout the day

Conscious, confident, adorned in light

Stepping out from its rest and erasing the night

As a new day begins what is necessary to find

Just a touch of peace to our daily grind

Take the new day on with style and grace

Fight the good fight and finish the race

Stunning smile of warmth coming from the east

Setting in the west, we're blind to the rest

For it makes a full circle and rises again

While we slept it touched the earth from end to end

From sin to God, He had to make way

From death to life, man had to obey

Structure, discipline, rules so profound

It had to be right, for God is sound

In this is a witness between God and man

To trust Him for His word is true,

He'll never fail to care for you

Even regarding the lowest class

He makes them wise and the wise an ass

To follow the law was not just a show

It produced good results so that man might know

The promise of mercy that wouldn't depart

A gift of eternal gladness of heart

His commandments are brilliant, from one to ten

Transparent, definite, and simple for all men

Opening the eyes and causing to see

The promises of God will never cease

Untainted holiness, steadfast and true

His ways were set for reasons few knew

However,

There was never a time He didn't come through

We don't seem to understand

Because we are driven by demand

Status this day is what we adore

Selling ourselves to keep the score

To follow His ways, how invaluable I'm told

How precious, exquisite, and sweet to behold.

They keep us true, and safe from harms way

In our mindless hustle it can guide through the day

Failing to hold fast to instruction with keeping power

Forget not the benefits He provides by the hour

We can't even fathom the mistakes that we've made

Yet I hide in the shame and cower in the shade

Things I forgot in my conscious and sub

Things that await His cleansing blood

Willful sin in which I dive in

Unconscious, moronic, brainless and vague

To them, please keep me from being enslaved

Blameless, pure, righteous, set free

Innocent of all in which I'm really guilty

My desire is to speak only that which You have brought

Sanctify my words, my actions, my thoughts

Christ is the only one who redeems

The one and only that can make me clean.

Time To Share

2009-01-13T09:02:00.000-08:00

I had the most exciting thing happen yesterday...it was scary...but good. So, I thought I would share with my trusty peeps in blog world.

I'm going to start waaaaaaayyyyy back:

July 19, 1985 I was kicked out of my house. I can't for a minute say that I was innocent...in fact, the opposite was true. I was a chronic runaway from the time I was about 12 and basically lived my own life. I had no rules, certainly had no morals or even boundaries for that matter, and at best, all the people in charge of me could do was keep me out in the country...away from society, only problem with that was the school bus. I was out of control. Well, on this fine day...my birthday, I decided I wanted to hang out with my friends and was told that if I left I was to never come back. I left that day and never returned. I lived on the streets and slept in parks (near my friends homes in case I didn't wake up...someone would recognize me). The Lord ALWAYS protected me...I was never bothered and I made some great squatter friends who helped me learn to live on my own. Well, one day I ran into a substitute teacher whom I adored, and through a course of events I ended up at the Lighthouse for Girls in Gem, KS. It was a home for homeless and "throw away" teens.
My experience at the Lighthouse was awesome. Of course, it was hard having rules and schedules and all...especially after being a wild child, but I loved it...and I was loved. Since that time I have always wanted to open a home for homeless teens...and well, I was kick started into the beginning of the process in '03. Now, though somewhat terrified in stepping out, I am going to run with it.
Saturday, my dad traveled back here for some doctors visits and I knew this was going to be my time to tell him...I just didn't know how or when. Of course when he arrived, I was grilled with questions on what I was doing, how are my finances, how long has it been since I've had a good meal (to which I replied "this morning...thanks for buying" hee hee...please...do I look like I don't eat...uh...I don't think so), and where I was looking for jobs (my job ended back in August), so I told him everything he asked, but somehow I couldn't get to the organization part...he worries sooo much and I just knew he would go off on a tangent about religion, doctrine, government, and money to support the place (in that order too). He despises what he calls "beg-a-thon's" and other attempts ministries make at fundraising. I was at a place where I felt I had to answer for something and my insides tightened because I just wanted to say "I believe in miracles, I believe God has my back, and I believe in my purpose in life." All I really could say is "all this stuff doesn't make any difference, and there has never been a time when I have been without. None of this matters to me...I can loose it all and it doesn't matter." To which he replied "*sigh* I know...I just don't see how you can be so calm in the middle of this." Later he called my mom and my sister and told all...ahhh gotta love family. He had not heard the best yet though.
Last night he was standing in the kitchen and looked over at the computer and said "is that you?" I said "yeah, it's my MySpace page" and he asked if he could read it...I said of course...I don't have anything to hide...why not. So he came over and sat down and started reading it...I forgot I had written on it that I am hoping to open a home for homeless teens and such. He started talking about "the business" and I just said...it's my ministry. I told him I had been working on it a while...let me tell you I was trembling soooooo hard on the inside, and then I showed him the web site I am working on and also told him I was planning on launching it in two weeks. He was silent for a moment, made sure I was aware that "unfortunately, those kinds of organizations are solely supported through fund raising" paused, and then said "if that is what God wants you to do, then do it." I WAS SHOCKED! OOOOOHHHHHH YYYYYEEEEAAAAAHHH. I wanted to dance around the kitchen, but I kept a straight face and went to my room and did a YES-THANK-YOU-LORD dive onto my bed. I really can't tell you why it means so much to have his approval, but it does and I can't tell you how free I feel now.

So, the home is called Destiny's Refuge...it's going to take a miracle, but I know where to go for them. I am finishing up my final class at CCU and at the end of the class I hope to launch my website (destinysrefuge.org).

Psalm 115 - Trusting God

2009-01-07T16:50:00.000-08:00

I wrote this before today, and was just drawn back to it because I am ever so aware of how much I need to trust God right now...these are tough times, but not too tough for the Lord if we will seek Him...and trust. I thought I might share it with you all (I hope it's not too long for you all...I tried to shorten it.):

Historically, Psalm 115 was written as a song of trust in God. This particular psalm pulls in every aspect one needs to know about trusting in God. It guides, teaches, and portrays a historical paradigm of trust. One major literary feature is its element of worship which was captured in a musical refrain reminding them that “he is their help and shield” (v 9-11). Today we are faced with idols and lack of trust just as in the days of old. Our minds are bombarded with every worldly ritual imaginable. May this psalm find its way into the hearts and minds of individuals that hunger and thirst for truth; for God is truth, there is nothing that compares with His greatness, and this psalm is crying out for us to lay aside all that holds us back and trust once again.
This psalm of trust was David’s cry to Israel to turn back to God from what they were worshiping. At the time of Exile from Egypt, God had showed Himself mighty and merciful among the Israelites. This psalm begins with acknowledgement and praise of God who has never left them or even ceased to love them. The Israelites were God’s chosen people regardless of their many attempts to stray from Him. However, when Moses had gone to the mountain to converse with God, the people panicked and believed they needed a god to serve, and there erected an image that they believed would go to God for them. Idolatry kept them from receiving the Promised Land until the original generation had passed on. The Israelites were aware of the destruction that idol worship brings, and in this psalm, David speaks of the things the others love about their god and questions their taunting. It wasn’t just being made fun of that was upsetting, though no one appreciated that even when they are confident of their ways; it was that God was excluded from the lives of people in idolatry. Essentially, all their god had to offer them was something they could touch. He speaks of their worthless features, the powerlessness, and the inability those idols have to help the people; however, this wasn’t a contest about whose god was bigger than the other because it was obvious that God had showed himself strong, personal, and ever present. What could he do but to again praise God for His greatness and power and life?
David stated that God was a God to trust and called out for each “house” of Israel to trust him, even those who were not a part of a specific Israelite group “[y]ou who fear him, trust in the Lord – he is their help and shield” (v 11 NIV). There was no bias, anyone who feared God was called to again trust in Him rather than the ways of man which were ever present. There was a promise that David was aware of, that when their trust was placed in the Lord, there would be blessings on everyone, “small and great.” David knew that those who may have been looked upon with fewer honors than royalty were no less than royalty in the eyes of God, which was and still is additional proof of a steadfast and loving God.
The literary features of this psalm are a paradigm, taking the reader through an active act of trust by informing the reader how, what, and why they should trust. David’s plea was that the Israelites would be more God-like. In order for that to happen, David created steps through his example and through the words of this song. In verse 1 David gave Glory to God erasing himself from any thought of pride, claiming God as the one he trusts. He then called the other houses to join him in that worship. In this portion of the psalm, worship was captured in the musical refrain “he is their help and shield,” uplifting them as he drew them in. The psalm then sings blessings over them that fear the Lord, “The Lord remembers us and will bless us; He will bless the house of Israel, he will bless the house of Aaron, he will bless those who fear the Lord – small and great alike.” (v 12) He then brings them to pledge to praise and trust in God forever, and closes with “Praise the Lord.” (v.18)
Idols are as prominent today, if not more than biblical times. The extent of idolatry today rests in the fact that so many people are deceived into believing that they are “few and far between” in our society simply because we are not building “gods” and passing them around for people to worship. Today, many don’t understand what idolatry is. Merriam-Webster defines idolatry as “1: the worship of a physical object as a god; 2: immoderate attachment or devotion to something.” Statues of “has been” gods are defined as art, and the food offerings laid at their feet are expressions of tradition. Television is ritualistically watched on football evenings, sick drama mamas and reality TV are all conversation can hold the next day at work. There seems to be no regard to the lives around desiring true fellowship or intimacy. Family time is a movie night, that lacks in deep conversation if any conversation at all. There are far too many idols in this day to list. To call on our true and loving and merciful God today would be met with jeering as well. Christian endeavors are overlooked and mocked, and the Christians themselves are labeled “intolerant.” People flock to know God when tragedy strikes, but are easily sucked back into what is comfortable to them, something they can touch for immediate reassurance; a god of gold that when spent calms the anxieties within for but a moment.
Trust is so lacking today. Most can’t recall ever having seen God bring them through, and have been too busy to listen to their grandparents stories. God’s faithfulness has always been passed down from generation to generation with respect and regard to all He has done; very few know of that faithfulness. Words in the Bible are just stories heard in Sunday school classes with as much value to them as the flannel they are recited with. The lack is in knowing a God of love and mercy experientially. Testimony time in church would always involve a story of how God brought someone through. Grandmother didn’t have groceries and opened her door one morning to find not only what she needed, but also extras for the kids. That’s the point when God's provision, while appreciated, created a sense of pride in individuals to do everything in their power to never have to rely on God or man to take care of them. Women became men, providing for themselves, men raced for power and wealth, and God was forgotten. Society says everyone is to look out for oneself, and trust in the accomplishments made along the way, making sure there will always be a cushion on which to fall back. Society needs to trust in God again. One can’t determine the course of each day or even if the sunlight will peer through their bedroom window to greet the new day, only God can. One can’t bless himself either; there has to be understanding that trust in God brings about blessings like joy, peace, and love. To catch this idea would potentially remove blinders from eyes and give a new Red Sea and Jericho experience that would be the highlight for the next generation.
As David trusted in God and left a legacy for all to follow in remembering what God has brought us through, so we need to trust in God knowing that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. We have reasons to look to God rather than looking to that which is comfortable to us, sometimes even idolatrous to us. We have a call, as in the days of old, to trust God, forget what lies behind and press forward, because in that pressing is blessing that no man can provide, only God. As David said, so I say also . . . Praise the Lord!

Tagged

2009-01-04T17:32:00.000-08:00

Gotta love these things.

7 Random/Weird facts about...uh...me:

1. I have a high tolerance for physical pain, but will cry rivers at a sad movie.

2. I was kidnapped from my foster home at 4 and grew up with the alias Kathy Jones; thus, I despise being called Kathy.

3. I have issues with cutting my hair short (I cry if it is cut above my shoulders), but I often think that my 40th birthday will spur me on to shorter hair...that's the year I'll be mature...lol.

4. I was adopted as an adult.

5. October 9, 2003 I was given just a few hours to live (see #1; I ignored my pain for a year)...I'm still alive.

6. Isaiah 54 is my favorite chapter in the bible.

7. My goal this year is to have my long awaited home for homeless teens fully functioning...stay tuned. ;)

I don't really know 7 taggable people, so I will just have to break the rules and say...if you stop by, play along.

Prisoner of Circumstance - Giveaway

2008-12-23T10:31:00.001-08:00

My fellow blogging buddy Nadine has just published her novel Prisoner of Circumstance and is having a giveaway at her website.

Please stop by her site and support the artistic endeavors of our fellow sister blogger.

Other Parts of the UK

2008-12-21T16:21:00.000-08:00

I have not been real fond of posting a ton of pictures...they take forever, so I have just chosen a few of my favorites from the rest of my journey.

Kelvedon

I went to a bunker here which was so incredibly creepy. They kept it the same as it was when they were planning on using it. It was hidden in a bunch of trees and was underground of course, so it was musty. Beds hung on the wall on one side, and battery operated radiation packs hung on the other side of the hallway. The place was huge, it had a hospital, offices, men's sleeping quarters, women's sleeping quarters, officers quarters...everything.

Colchester

I went to Colchester Castle. It was built on temple Claudius. This is where I learned some interesting stuff. I took so many pictures of churches during my trip to the UK, and one thing I noticed was this:

Not too many churches (at least the traditional and older churches) have any Christian symbolism in them. I also was told, and I can believe it from my experience with people I met, only 3% of GB's population are actually true Christians. Many people worship as "the king" would worship, and worship the king, therefore making them Christians by default (I guess). Anyway, king worship is a way of promoting loyalty to the "imperial family."

Anyway, back to Colchester. At the castle I learned that Emperor Claudius kicked the bucket and temple Claudius was built to worship him as a god, but others saw the temple as a tyrannical and the natives got restless...and kicked Roman booty (led by one irate woman, Boudica. I nicknamed her Bootykick). There is actually a movie about Boudica...they had the chariot from the movie in the castle...it was awesome.

This was the most fascinating part of the castle. It was the dungeon where people accused of operating in witchcraft were taken to be tortured until they gave up names of people with whom they associated who were witches. They had recordings of people praying in the night and they cast shadows on the wall of it...it broke my heart.

After the castle we went to an artsy little cafe next to a GORGEOUS clock museum.

This is a scone with clotted cream and strawberry preserves. We would call it a biscuit, but never in my life have I ever had clotted cream...it was divine.

Tymperleys Clock Museum...it closed just as I walked up to check it out.

Chelmsford

Chelmsford is a huge shopping town. It has an outdoor mall like I've never seen before. The shopping there was fantastic. It's not the same old stuff at every different place you go...everything is unique. Now there were a few chains...but not many. I actually found a store that I had never heard of before (because I haven't visited Bolder Colorado in ages) called Lush. It has beauty supplies that are all natural...I loved it...and they were cheap...even in Euros...lol.

Of course I was wandering down some alleyways there and spotted this lovely church:

Stock

There were a couple things I loved about my visit to Stock; I could walk through the entire town in about 30 min, and it was beautiful.

I went to a lady's home there and was invited to drink tea in her chapel. Yes, she had her own chapel in her yard. Chapels there are not what one would think of here. Chapels there are places where boy scouts would meet...not a place to have church. She had OLD diary's and photo's of boy scout meetings...it was great to go through them. I saw a picture on the wall which reminded me of what boy Scout's used to be about...I took a picture of it...it's not that great, but it is a picture of Jesus with his hand on the shoulder of a boy scout.

This is an old church in Stock that I absolutely adored...it was made with so many different materials...it was fabulous!

Harlow

This was the best. I was sooooo very homesick from week 2. Then I met up with some people from an organization I belong to and they made me feel so at home and maybe even a little more homesick in a good way. It was hands down the best time I had in my visit to Europe. I saw a different side to pastoral work...one I haven't seen since I was a teen in a Baptist church in a very small town. My first trip, after service Pastor Patrick Zimba invited me over to his house for tea...which meant...full on dinner. After dinner we talked, then went out to some homes of people in his congregation to pray for them. I will never forget...Pastor Zimba said "we visit my people when they cannot come to church. They like to visit for a long time, and we have people to see, so we will have to go in and bless them (pray over their family) and leave. I'll let you do that." GULP...did he just tell me that I have to pray over these people. Once I calmed down from the shock of having to pray over people I don't know, I readily accepted my duties. Then I got into the house. IT WAS LIKE CHURCH ALL OVER AGAIN. There were like 3 different families in one house...can someone turn on the air 'cause I'm about to pass out! I survived and actually enjoyed it. Then we went to the next house, then we went bowling...lol. It was great...I lost. lol

I was invited back the next week to speak. I was a bit nervous...I talk fast when I'm nervous, but I made it through. Then we went to lunch and as we were waiting Pastor Zimba pulled me and another couple out and said "we have to go." It was the oddest thing, so I replied "is this a mandatory fast." hee hee We left and went to another family's house to pray for a young lady there, then went to eat. I watched Pastor Zimba take another couple under his wings and begin to teach them different things...it was so odd, but so beautiful, and so real.

Pastor Patrick Zimba, Me, Apostle Shinkolo (from Zambia)

I gave up my vegetarian ways for a chicken dinner. I was informed that in Africa, a chicken dinner is a way to show a special occasion or an honorable gesture. I felt honored, and was honored, in so many ways.

More of London

2008-12-21T15:47:00.001-08:00

Entering London, the first thing one notices is the writing on the road. I think it is very kind of them to do this, after all, they don't have to...we don't...lol. In spite of the giant directions printed on the road, I can't tell you how many times I looked the opposite way.

I went to London for the weekend. I initially was invited to a retreat in the country, but I then received an invitation to speak at a church in Harlow the same weekend, so I opted to stay in London rather than retreat...I am sooo glad I did too.

I stayed at the Cumberland near the Marble Arch on Oxford St. I actually went to Hotels Direct and booked through them...it was a bit scary because they tell you that they are offering you a four-star hotel at this awesome rate, but they also say they can't tell you what hotel it is until you actually confirm and pay for your stay. I took a deep breath and did it. Now, I am a more traditional person...I was really hoping for antique furniture and such, but that's not exactly what I got. It was a pretty cool hotel room, but I am glad I was not with anyone. The bathroom was frosted glass...not too frosted though...you could see right through the door...lol...the shower of course was glass...I'm surprised the toilet wasn't glass...lol...I just remember being soooo nervous that I was going to wake up late and the hotel staff was going to come in while I was in the shower...or something...lol. It was small...I think they call it a twin room which is smaller than a single room, but they made great use of the space, and even though I am not fond of contemporary decor, I did enjoy my room. The main level had a hopping night club which woke me up around 12am, so I got up, got dressed, and went for an evening stroll around the streets of London...yeaaah...it was beautiful, and alive still. People shop at all hours there. I didn't stay out long; I got back around 1:30 and went to bed.

THE MARBLE ARCH

This used to be at the entrance of Buckingham Palace, but now it is the entrance to Hyde Park.

I am a pretty curious person. When I travel, I just like to go wherever and see whatever happens before my eyes; but, I have to say, this was one of the creepiest streets I walked down.

On the left is a picture of some kind of bird bath looking thing. It was in a little bank nook where they housed their ATM machine...so, I'm still a bit creeped out 'cause this street had so much Gothic architecture mixed with strange religious-yet-non religious symbolism, a ton of Masonic stuff, then as I left that nook, just up the street I happened to look at sign on the side of a building...that is the picture on the right. I was ready to find another street at that time...lol.

Another thing I love to do is walk down alleys and through open doorways...you can find the neatest stuff in the nooks and crannies of London. This picture is in an alleyway off Oxford Street...there was a sign just beyond the archway that looked like it was saying "hi" and welcoming me in...lol. The cutest restaurants were down that alleyway and a couple shops.

TEMPLE BAR - The gateway to the city of London

ST PAUL'S

Sorry about the blurred tube sign. St Paul's was such an incredible church. I sat through one of their services...didn't do communion though...I haven't sipped from a community chalice in a VERY long time and all I could think of was a flashing memory of seeing floaters in the wine when I was a little girl...traumatic I tell ya, but I can respect those that went forward.

Now, I half expected to see a little old lady sitting on the steps of St Paul's and singing feeeeed the birds...toppins a bag, BUT, all I got was the site of some peeps kicking back and enjoying the day. I did go inside, but couldn't take pictures, so I purchased postcards...even the postcards did not do the place justice. I have one post card of a black and white picture of London burning all around St Paul's, but St Paul's remained untouched. From what I understand, the reason is because Hitler gave orders not to bomb it...he was saving the Church for himself...along with Buckingham Palace. I had coffee in the Crypt...mmmm.

THE ROYAL COURTS OF JUSTICE

Something huge was going on here this day...there were tons of people there...camera's and such. I so wanted to know, but never found out.

ST MARY'S SCHOOL

As I wondered somewhere around the vicinity of the hotel, I found the cutest little school building.

More Old Buildings

That's about it for my journey to London. My next post will finish up with pics of the other parts of my UK trip.

London First Trip

2008-12-12T15:22:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I figured it was about time to bring all my darling, yet very neglected, blogging friends up to speed on everything...sorry, I kind of left you all hanging right outside of London...lol.

England

What an amazing experience I had! I already shared some of the small town stuff with you all, so I will share some pics from London and attempt to recap. I do apologize for the darkness of the pictures...it was a bit overcast, but if you would really like to see a pic, I think you can just click on it and it will be a better quality...maybe my computer is just dark...I don't know.

This was the first delightful scene as I arrived by train into London. It is the site of the 2012 Olympics...there was a big multi-million dirt mound too, but I'll spare you the view.

Jackie and I took the boat down the Thames river so we could catch a glimpse of many of the sites. Brrr...it was sooo dang cold and I was playing it tough 'cause I'm from Colorado...they don't know cold over there...lol...apparently I don't know cold on the river.

Tower Bridge

This is the bridge the US thought they were purchasing (and getting such as great price for it too)...oops...we actually purchased London Bridge...which is falling down...haa haa haa...it's not so pretty. I thought I took a pic, but can't seem to find it...hmm, but then again, I took over 500 pictures, so maybe I just can't remember which bridge it is.

Tower Bridge leading to Tower of London

This is the Tower of London.

If you look closely, you can see writing toward the bottom that says "Entry to the traitors gate." I was surprised to find out that traitors were just about anyone the King/Queen didn't like...like, at one point, people who worshiped in a manor that was not the way the K/Q worshiped...they were rough royal peeps back in the day (uh, actually the day before "back in the day").

Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. I wish there was a way to capture the whole thing...it was unbelievable! My pics do this place no justice at all.

The gates even have crowns.

Sovereigns Entrance to the Houses of Parliament...sorry, I couldn't capture it really, so I just took pictures of some of the architectural detail.

Big Ben of course.

I had to put these next two guys together. Apparently the statue on the left is a bit controversial. It's a statue of Oliver Cromwell holding a sword and a bible. He is said to have initiated the trial and execution of Charles I...well, I knew that the bust of Charles I was right across the street because supposedly Cromwell's head is bowed to avoid the piercing gaze of Charles I. I turned around and after a few minutes, I saw the iiiiiiiitttttttyyyyyy bitty bust of Charles I and about laughed my head off...poor dinky Charles! I personally have come to the conclusion that Cromwell's head is bowed 'cause he's squinting so hard to see Charles I across the street. Aren't they just fabulous buildings though!

This next guy you may have seen on the news. He's the guy who camped outside the
Houses of Parliament day one that the war in Iraq started...he's still there, but at least now he has a permit to be there. He will remain until the war ends...power to ya brother.

The next pic is an Egyptian Obelisk...they call it Cleopatra's Needle, but it was around long before Cleopatra. Maybe they call it that because they were eventually moved to a temple built by Cleopatra...who knows? Anyway, there is another one in New York City, so eventually I will have to travel to New York to take a picture so my collection of Cleo's needles will be complete.

Below is the London Eye...or Eye of London whichever...I didn't get a closeup, but it's a pretty cool wheel.

This gorgeous little red church here houses the first English translation of the Bible.

Blackfriars Railway Bridge (the second...Blackfriars the first is no longer and this bridge was eventually renamed Blackfriars.)

I LOVE this place. I wish I could have gone in and looked around. It is The Globe Theater which is a reproduction of Shakespeare's original theater. IT HAS A THATCHED ROOF! Gorgeous!

This just cracked me up...it is a picture of a spa...very nice huh...lol. When they built it, they put in two-way glass so that the clients can look out over the Thames; however, they installed the windows backwards and everyone can see in, but they can't see out...hee hee...that's what I call accountability...of course, since they have not changed it...maybe it's just vanity. ;)

City Hall

This is a picture of the Gherkin...I think it has a real name, I think it is the Swiss Tower, but Gherkin is what the locals call it...I suppose that is one of the better likenesses they could have label it.

The Household Calvary

The museum left much to be desired. It showed the stables and some of the outfits they wore throughout the years...that's about it. I took pics, but they only allowed me to if I promised not to publish them. The best of the Household Calvary is outside:

hee hee This guy looked like he was dancing 'cause they can hardly walk in those giant boots.

Me and the Calvary "bloke."

Buckingham Palace

The gardens around Buckingham Palace

This guy was on the property surrounding Buckingham Palace, but isn't quite a part...maybe he's just protecting the side gates...not sure, but he looked like a toy soldier on a tattered mantle...lol.

These are called the fabulous buildings of London...haa haa haa...just kidding. I don't know what they are, I just thought they were wonderful.

I had to take two pictures of this building just 'cause it is sooooo fabulous!

I don't recall what building this is below on the left, but it had every single profession carved into the side of it.

I don't know what this is either, but it is awesome! Anyone know?

This is nothing really...I think I was just excited to see a door knob in London. Do you know they don't have door knobs on their houses? They have little finger pulls...I should have taken a picture of them...lol. Also, in the center of the door (the circle) it is embossd with VR for Victoria's Reign.

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of this building (the pic on the left) in it's entirety...they were filming a Baliwood movie at the time, but the detail is phenominal.

I loved the sculpture on the building on the right, but was quite saddened to see the building on the left covered in a NYC style media screen.

After our walk around London, we went into a pub for cider...made from organic apples...sounds good doesn't it? It's not...don't let anyone tell you different! It's beer...blech...I think they just needed an excuse to put ice cubes in beer.

We ended our evening in London at a restaraunt called Dim T. It was wonderful!

YUMMMM!

As we were dining, the cutest purple polka dot car drove by...I had to snap a pic.

I'll have to post my solo trip to London later. Already this is a HUGE blog and I need to get ready for my godson's to come over.

Surrendering The Secret

2008-10-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

A break from my travel. Tammy sent me over to Melinda's blog where she is having a giveaway...more than the average giveaway because it requires a little action.

Surrendering The Secret is a study leading people who have experienced abortion and the effects thereof (including its secrecy) into freedom.

I almost did not post this simply because I thought I would have no idea what to do with it. I don't think I could lead this group; however, what an honor it would be to pass it on to someone in my church who has been there and has a passion for leading others to freedom.

Please visit Melinda's site and get involved as well...if not for yourself, then for the countless women who you know and/or may never know that need freedom in this area in their life. Melinda has all the appropriate connections and facts regarding this study on her site.

A few places I've seen

2008-09-24T04:08:00.001-07:00

I haven't really been able to post because the Internet and upload speed on my Internet stick is S-L-O-O-O-W. I'm currently at the Cumberland Hotel in London, so I have high speed Internet here...it takes seconds to upload...I'm so excited!!! We'll discuss London later. Here are a few of my noteworthy excursions:

Billericay, Essex:

For a small town, this place has some serious history. One piece of information I found interesting is that they have a town in the US which mirrors Billericay; it is called Billerica, which is in Massachusetts, near Boston. Of course, they didn't want to call it the same thing yet wished to keep some sort of English connection, so they took the "y" off the end of the town name. Today, they keep a sort of friendship between them and open their homes to visitors traveling between the two places. It's like a Billericay club...lol...not a bad idea actually.

Not much to say really, I just took a lot of pictures. They have around 18 old buildings from the 15th century to the 18th century Georgian architecture. None of the buildings were built on foundations, so they are slowly inching down the hill. They really are great buildings...here are some of them:

This is on Norsey Road...they are 18th century cottages. One interesting thing about them is that they were not built upon a foundation (and still stand)...most of the stores and houses in Billericay are not built on foundations; yet, they have only crept down the hill a matter of inches.

This is a timber framed house built in 1577...I think it is just amazing how they can stand today.

St Mary Magdalene church and it's front door and 15th century clock tower.

There was a pigeon perched on a throne of his own in the pic on the left, so I had to take his pic.
This is Foxcroft Georgian style built in 1750. In 1935 it was a children's home. I absolutely love the ivy growing on it...it's a nice sign of Autumn with the gradual color change of the leaves.

This pic shows...beyond the coined phrase "sunlashes" (I can't remember for the life of me which siesta coined that phrase.)...a 16th century half timber style; however, back in the day, the exposed beams were not black...they were a natural gray (and I actually have a picture later of what it would really look like if left natural).

This is very noteworthy. It's called The White Hart and was built in the 18th century. Two of the windows have been bricked off because back then there was a window tax, and of course, this has many windows, so in order to not be charged tax for all the windows, they bricked two off and have kept it that way as a reminder of window taxes.

Ok, so I took 140 pics of places in Billericay, so I must move on now.

Next stop...Leigh, Essex:

This is the award winning beach in Leigh...and believe me, my camera didn't miss much of it...haa haa haa...that's it.

This is what I ate in Leigh:

The cup consisted of prawn, crayfish tails, mussel's, and cockles. The more I ate, the bigger the cup got...lol. Actually, I ate the shrimp (they eat it with pepper and vinegar...I wasn't so fond of that...kind of made it smell a bit more fishy), I tried a crayfish tail and gave the rest to Jackie, then we got down to the mussel's:

Promise you...I said "Jackie...I swear that one below has eyes and is looking at me." It took me about two minutes to gain enough courage to eat it, and...well...Jackie had the rest. lol

These guys are cockles...I found them to be quite yummy, but after about four, I began to cringe, and...well...Jackie ate the rest...haa haa haa. I love seafood, really! Maybe all they needed was butter and garlic....lol.

This is Jackie's son Jack. Jack ate Mackrel:

More later. I'm off to see more of London now.

The Rest of My Travel

2008-09-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

I do apologize for not keeping up with the travel...so much to say...so little time to say it...and picky airwaves (the cloud cover leaves much to be desired for wireless blogging)...BUT, I love it here.

12:00 pm Canada time I boarded the largest plane I have ever been in. I sat right in the center and the plane seemed to go forever before me and behind me. I was quite a bit nervous at first because my mind just could not wrap around the fact that this plane can take off IN THE AIR with so many people on board. Side note: I took my camera this time, but I had an isle seat, and I didn't think people would be too happy with me snapping a pic of all of them...there were some grumpies. I realize people must travel frequently and not all have a silly American, first-time-out-of-the-states perma-grin on their face; and most are sooo tired, but WOW, the essence of it all is incredible. I just hope behind the grumpies lay the thought of the blessing of it all...we are really some blessed people. Ok, hopping off my soap box now. When the plane finally began to move, it was very bumpy...much like riding in my pickup. As we bounced along the runway the lights in the cabin flickered quite eerily as it resembled being in the midst of an episode of the Twilight Zone. I noticed I wasn't the only one nervous and a little freaked out...I saw the lady across the isle and we both shot each other an understanding grin sort of reassuring each other that this beast would actually take off; and, indeed we did and faster than any other takeoff I have ever experienced.

Inside the plane was another world. It had television monitors which showed a map of where we were and where we were headed; and, as we traveled, the plane moved across the sea in proportion to where we were. The man beside me was fast asleep and had a case of the twitches, the lady in front of me had the largest nose ring I have ever seen...I wanted so badly to ask her if I could take a picture, but even I knew that would be rude...lol...oh, the things that thrill me.

There were so many people of different races, and obvious religions, and styles, and everything...it was fabulous! I sat there for three hours making up stories in my mind about their lives...that's a fun past-time, try it, just remember, mental pondering don't make it true. I found that out when I arrived.

So, I arrived in London at 11:00 am and went through customs...I heard so many people complain about customs, but really, it's not that bad. Of course, the people complaining were mostly people from their own country...and that line was three times as long as the line of foreigners. They seem to have every method of transportation possible here...they have the train, the plane, the bus, the "tube" which is like a subway I think (I've never actually been on the subway). My mental picture of London was actually much different than the actual place. Their advertisements here are wooooo bad bad bad, or as they would say "naughty." They also have graffiti just like we do. The difference is the landscape and architecture and overall ambiance of the place. I actually thought it was a London thing to have red doors on every house...haa haa haa...not so. I didn't realize they have coffee here either...well, they don't do coffee like we do, but they do have coffee...espresso...their coffee is espresso. I went into a coffee shop at the main station and asked for a coffee and they said "white or black"...I was thinking white beans (which would be raw coffee beans) or black beans (which are cooked coffee beans); but as I was wrapping my brain around what the lady was saying, she said "milk." Duh. I said "oh, white" and she said "Americano" and I said "I don't want an espresso drink, to which she replied "it's coffee," so that is what I got. Must say, the coffee here is really not too bad.

Ok, so day one (which is a continuation of the last 24 hours) I don't remember much of. I think we went "up the high street," (the main street in the town) but I didn't do much looking around, we visited the shops here. I've learned that "up the town" means we will be going to Billericay; however, "up town" means we will be visiting London.

I love best that there is not the same of everything here...there are no department stores, few franchises, and mostly you would support local businesses...I like that...to each a piece of their own. What we know as thrift stores are called charity shops and they have the charity they support written across the door. The street is lined with charity shops...it was fun going in these places, they were highly organized...and clean. ;)

From there, Jackie and I met one of her friends for coffee (I think this coffee place is like a European Starbucks), and they have little templates that decorate your coffee...it's darling...so I took a pic.

Of course, they only have one template which is the Costa (name of the shop) insignia (lower left cup-o-jo).

Later I went out to the farm where Jackie keeps her horse and saw real farm animals...lol...I couldn't help but take pictures...it was wonderful being on an actual working farm again.

The chicken followed me all over the place.

I'll have to post more about the little town of Billericay tonight...as long as the clouds coverage is low. The people I am staying with go to bed early (like 10 or 11...yikes) and get up late (around 8am). I suppose I am still on University time, so I still go to bed at 2 and get up at 6. So, I have plenty of solo time to play online and get my homework done.

Journey of Fun

2008-09-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

It is so exciting to be outside the United States. In July I purchased my passport in anticipation of traveling, and even though it is only day one, I am so thrilled. I stayed up until 2am and then got up at 6am hoping to be tired so I could sleep during the flight, but I was on such an adrenaline rush, I doubted I could sleep at all; however, I was out and totally missed the take-off. I love the take-off...I would call it my favorite part of flying, but it ties with the landing because each landing there is a delicious fear that the tail of the plane is going to scrape the ground before the wheels do...hee hee hee...just one of my weird quirks. Well, I woke up just after take-off when the overly zealous flight attendant started selling dinners...eww...who actually purchases airline food? I always thought there was a reason it used to be free. Anyway, I couldn't go to back to sleep...could have been the coke, but I think I am just really excited. Prior to taking my seat, I grabbed my Ipod and headphones out of my bag, and for a moment, I thought that I should grab my camera, but on second thought I figured it would be silly to take pictures from the window of an airplane...I so wish now I had been silly! I saw the most beautiful sunset I have EVER seen in my life!!! It looked like a rainbow stretched out across the land...it had the most brilliant colors and it would be a shame to just call them red, orange, yellow, and violet...it was simply magnificent; oh, and I saw it through my window which had a picture frame of frost along the bottom.
I am currently awaiting my connecting flight in Toronto...Canada. I wish I had more time to spend here. It was dark by the time I arrived, but the lights were fabulous...I love city lights at night, the gold, white, and red flickers give me the warm fuzzies of Christmas Eve...mmm.
I think I am supposed to board my flight at 22:10 (right now it's 9:50...um 21:50...wow that's a lot of counting), but the flight board says 23:10...wooo I'm so confused.
Ok, I have to confess...I stopped at Starbucks here, and the lady gave me my total and I had that deer in the headlights look and actually said "oh no, that's Canada money huh?" The lady laughed and said "well, you can pay US money, but you will get Canada change." The mighty plastic saved me from having to figure out foreign money. It was actually kind of funny, I gave her my bank card which has snow covered mountains and the lady said "oh, this makes me cold looking at it." Then she showed everyone working there and they all laughed...I guess it late...everyone gets a little silly. YIKES, I just realized I drank Starbucks!!! Really...so much for sleep now!
Well, this is part one of my journey. I will arrive tomorrow in London at 4:30 am MST which is 11:30 am in London. From there I will hop the "tube" East bound to Liverpool, meet up with my friend, and head to Billericay. I am so excited...I am an architecture buff...it was my second love from my teen years and beyond. So, if you enjoy architecture, I hope you check back for some pictures.

The Fiesta...Through My Eyes

2008-08-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

Thursday 4:30 am: Did my alarm clock really go off? I never even went to sleep...the excitement for the weekend sent waves of energy rushing through my body...to sleep would bring a sort of forgetfulness of tomorrows surge of living this life of bloggeramma...and that just couldn't happen...maybe it was that coffee I drank before bed...I totally blame Holly for that. :) I was up and in the shower and packing the remainder of my things for the San Antonio Siesta Fiesta. I went into Holly's room to wake her up (as promised in case the travel alarm didn't work) and I wish I had a camera 'cause she was all but hugging the snooze button on the alarm clock...I think I even heard a faint song ...ohhhh sweeet snoooozzzeee buttooooonnnnn...coming from her! HOW CAN YOU SNOOZE AT A TIME LIKE THIS!!!! haa haa haa So, we made our way to the airport by way of IHOP (the pancake house...not to be confused with IHOP the prayer house). After a couple hours of loud, obnoxious, flatulent, but sometimes funny children sitting behind me, my turbulent (due to seat kicking) flight ended and I arrived in San Antonio.

So, I got to my room and walked across the hall to converse with Holly and Joanne, and while we were talking, Kimberly walked in with her sweet daughter Grace, later we heard screams, so I poked my head out and there was Stephanie and others hugging and crying and screaming, then more hugging and crying and screaming...soon the hallway was full and those poor men on the same floor had it cut out for them. lol Here's a first glance of the hallway meeting...which grew rapidly.

It was funny 'cause everyone was calling each other by their blog names. Then Cheryl (The Prof) came out with her Miesta and met us all...she is such an awesome person!

They all left and went on the boat tour of the River Walk, and I went elsewhere, but I made it to the last boat tour of the day...it was awesome at night.

The River Walk was beautiful, so the next morning I went out and took some more pictures.

While I was out walking I met Brooke (Mail Girl) Geo Cashing, so she taught me all about it and took me hunting with her. It was probably the highlight of my trip because I am not big on socializing, meeting, greeting, and making friends and such, so I really enjoyed my first friend making experience.

I couldn't believe how humid it was...holy smokes...and Denver summer clothes just don't cut it; so, I went shopping. I really hate shopping, so I'm glad I found something fast...and on sale. ;)

On to lunch time.

We all hopped the bus and went to ...beats me...we ate at so many Mexican food places, all their names run together. There were a ton of us and the waiters were awesome to put up with us all. Here are some pics from that.

This is some of us waiting for the bus to take us to the restaurant.

This is us at the restaurant...poor waiter guy...at one point he had to tell everyone to sit down 'cause so many people were all over the place.

The conference was great as Beth Moore conferences generally are. She taught on being an heir of God. The energy amongst our group was just unbelievable...I enjoyed it.

Here's a small video of us siesta's waiting to get in:

I sat next to Donna (and I have a horrible pic of me with her), so I won't post it...I was hot, red, not an ounce of makeup left on me and topped it off with a cheezy smile...she is awesome though...I had a great time talking to her.

Finally, our session with the Moore girls was so much fun...Melissa just cracked me up more than anything.

This is Kathy and Jackie Sue they were awesome ladies!

This trip was such an unbelievable time of getting to know people who have just been pictures and words to me. How crazy it seems to some people to do this sort of thing, but it actually makes me think of the day we will meet Christ face to face. He's not just words on a page, but he is life to us. One of these days, we will meet Him and suddenly we will realize He is more than what I read or believed...He is my life...ahem...my inheritance...as I am His. While I had such divine appointments this weekend and enjoyed everyone that makes blogging worthwhile; I still can't wait to meet the one that makes life worth it all.

Potpourri

2008-08-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have lots to say...I'll get the awkward stuff out of the way first.
I received my long awaited job end date. My last day at work will be August 20. Whew, right around the corner. I can't define my emotions 'cause they are all over the place...one moment I'm excited, one moment I'm sad, one moment I'm anxiety ridden, and one moment I'm relieved to finally have a date. I'm the last of my group to go (they're keeping me a few days past conversion in case anything unexpected happens). Can't say what I will do either. I've had multiple requests for me to attend company overviews for financial advisor positions, but I'm not sure I want to go back into investments. My heart says one thing, my parents are saying another thing (eww Fed's *shiver* *shiver* *shiver*), but I hope to pursue what is on my heart...at least until my checkbook screams another. I guess I just have to sit back and listen and wait. The company I work for always provided a 30 day sabbatical on each employee's 10 year anniversary...I planned to go to London. Well, I've been there 10 years, and since the company divestiture, my sabbatical never happened; however, I'm going to London anyway. Paris is in the works...there is a ministry there that works with teens through art and I would love to help out. Anyway, I will miss work...here's some of the things I'll miss:

Allow me to explain: We had a mickey mouse (he even had the real Mickey plastered all over his office with a stuffed Mickey staring you in the face during meetings...creepy) of a supervisor come in and since he always wanted to know when people were at lunch, we all had to put up lunch signs (which we all gladly posted 100% of the time). We were a quirky group, and somewhat obedient. Anyway, the last picture is a team effort tack art (this was the friendliest of them). We all got bored at the scanner because it was soooo slow, so we took advantage of our down time...I loved this one especially because our temp Joe (aka cupcake-his staple food) bent up a paperclip for smoke coming out of the chimney...clever kid. So...that is what I'll miss.

On to what I've been up to lately:

In June I went on a women's retreat. There is a place in Colorado Springs called The Hideaway...oh it is sooo awesome! It's just that...hidden away in a bit of forest mountain area. It's so much fun. Well, as retreats go...oh wait, let me rephrase that...as retreats typically are when I am invited, this one was entertaining. I created a couple aliens out of handiwrap and aluminum foil and placed on of them in the retreat leaders bed...hee hee...it was the size of an 8 yr old.

The other alien was doing his thing on the throne when they found him.

It was the best...I watched Neddra walk into her room...heading to the balcony, do a quick shudder of fear, grab her heart and say VERY LOUDLY "stupid Kathryn." To that I (and a few others) all but fell out on the floor laughing. My punishment:

I was dismissed! I cried "why ya gotta lock a sister out" to no avail. I was banned; however, the intruding aliens got special attention...even their very own names! I just don't get it.

July is my birthday month, and my ski bud's birthday is just a few days before me, so we headed up to the cabin together up by Gunnison with her son and a friend of his. My folks have a resort package at Blue Mesa that I get perks from, so every so often I enjoy the free cabin. It was such a beautiful drive. I wish my camera could have caught the true splendor of it all, but here are a couple of my favorite views:

I suppose I could tell you it was raining, but I wont...those are bugs on my windsheild....lol...but if you look past that you can see snow (in July) up by Monarch Pass.

This one (below) was one of my fav's...that white stuff is not snow though...it's clouds hovering over the little valleys. It was so much more awesome than this picture.

We went to Lake City one day...I love the drive there too! I was a bit overly excited about the beauty of everything...it's so hard to clap and cheer God on when one is driving, so Cindy asked to take over...lol. I don't know...she said something about safety and such...lol.

So, while she was driving:

I got to see:

I just screamed "stop...stop." hee hee hee. Isn't it beautiful!

Last but not least, last Sunday was Bab's 1st birthday. So we went to the zoo:

Here's granny and Bab's looking at the fish. They were about the only thing...well, other than the rather large kitties she saw, that she really enjoyed.

She also started walking:

Did I mention she also adores her Great Auntie. Her mom says it's because she can get away with stuff with me, but I just think there's no reason at all for her to be unhappy, so we have a mutual agreement. ;) Besides...great niece, great auntie...maybe there's just too much greatness for one room to contain. ;-) Yeah, that's it!!!!

Feeding the Homeless

2008-07-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

One rewarding hour and a half...one day a week. Why not?

I looked around tonight at the faces of people so delighted to be catered to and couldn't help but smile. Government help comes in on the first, and though the crowd was lighter than the norm, many still pressed in for a meal...painfully aware that the funds they received one day earlier will only go so far. It's been a hard day, for some, it's been a hard life. The doors opened at 5:15 and the people waiting outside came in and sat to listen to the 20 minute sermon and pray before supper...even applauding when the sermon was done (though I am unsure if they were applauding the completion of the sermon in anticipation of the food, or if they really enjoyed the sermon...I'd like to think there's a little of both).

I was warned of one lady who comes in who "must have a twin sister because she is mean one week and nice the next," so I decided to watch her tonight...she didn't fail my expectations...right in the middle of the sermon, she smacked the man in front of her on the back of the head and pretended she was innocent and taking notes. I quickly turned to look at another volunteer and said "did you see that?" She was already watching my reaction and laughing assuring me that she had seen it. Really, I had to giggle because, well, deep down...I wish I could do that sometimes...uh, in fact, just this week at work. ;) I looked around again and my heart just melted when I realized this night is a very important night for them. Many dressed up in their best attire, or at least did their best to make sure their only outfit was presentable. All were grateful.

Looking back at tonight I can't help but think of Isaiah 58:6-7 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?"

I wondered about the economy and the impact it would have on these types of food kitchens.

I wondered at how distant being in that situation seems and yet had a sudden realization of how close it really is.

I wondered why there were just a few of us willing to serve in this capacity.

I wonder still.

Just One of My Favorite Things

2008-06-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

YUM!!! YUM!!! YUM!!!

So...I'm driving home from work thinking more about my gas tank about to hit "E" than food, when I think I heard a still small voice whisper to me "Havarti with Dill." Suddenly out of the corner of my eye loomed Whole Foods (another one of my favorite things). I kid you not...that store sings the Hallelujah Chorus every time I enter the produce section. I could wander for hours upon end just looking at everything and dreaming about what I could make. Well, I looked at my gas gauge and then the street sign as I passed it by, then back at my gas gauge, and glanced at yet another street sign I passed by...suddenly I could take it no more...I turned. Yep, I forfeited a gallon of gas for cheese...delightfully delicious cheese. Mmmm.
I made my way through the Cherry Creek streets wishing I were sitting next to the woman relaxing on a bench nearby a posh clothing store; or, skipping with the children out walking with their daddy. *Sigh* I could have done both, you see, but that fantastic cheese was calling to me.

Cheese...It's what's for dinner.

Good For You

2008-05-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

My sweet niece Desireé graduated last week.

This is her mom attempting to hug and pick her up at the same time. They're funny.

I traveled to Kansas to attend her graduation and spend time with the crazy family. Frances and Babs (aka Anika) rode with me; we traveled at night so Babs could sleep and wouldn't be too offended at being tied down in a car seat for 8 hours. Night travel is rough and Frances doesn't drive so I found myself pulling over every chance I got (that means an exit where no traffic was in sight) to run around the car and do jumping jacks...that afforded me another 45min of traveling with my eyes open...lol. I also made a concoction that did me well for a while...I poured a half bottle of frappuccino into my gigantic coffee cup, then added a double shot espresso to the remaining frapp and slammed it, then drank my coffee...that's some good stuff...stuff to write home about. We pulled in at 3am. My sister greeted us at the door...too excited to really sleep, then we stayed up talking until 5 or so...I guess the caffeine buzz actually kicked in too late. I just love early morning chats with my sisterface...she rocks! Every other day I was up at 5 with her drinking coffee and reading the bible.

Here's Granny feeding Babs in the morning.

I also got this sweet pic with Desireé and Babs.

I left the family one day to travel to Kansas City, MO. It just so happened that my nieces bff decided to fly in for Des' graduation...only she thought Kansas City was an airport in Kansas...lol. I was ok with the travel since I wanted to visit IHOP (International House of Prayer). What an experience! They have 24/7 praise and worship and prayer there and don't even miss a beat switching teams...amazing. IHOP far exceeded my expectations. What a beautiful place. I was thinking there would be a few people there since it was the middle of the week, but I never expected over a hundred people there. There were students, business people spending their lunch hour there, moms with their children...all kinds of people gathered to pray and worship God. Even after the lunch hour there was still a good 80 people or more there. I'm thinking I am going to take a weekend and just get away there.

Later, I picked my girl Niesha up at the airport and almost missed her...she hasn't been around my house in a couple years and my mental picture still sees her in pigtails and fuzzy sweats. She's quite lovely these days. We got a little misplaced on the road 'cause I accidentally tossed the directions...tee hee oops.

The rest of the week was spent doing little things around the house to get it ready for auction, attending graduation, visiting family, attempting to get my homework done, driving back and forth to MO...stuff like that...it was pretty busy. I got home Sunday evening and slept until Tuesday morning...lol...I was actually up for about 2 hours on Monday. :) All that travel did me in.

Since I am posting this a bit late, I have to add that my sister got in last night and we will be moving her into her new place today...I am so excited to have her back here after about 3 years...I missed her so much! So that should bring you up to date on most of my current events...I think about keeping my blog current, but somehow life gets ya busy.

Happy days to you all!

Awesome Weekend!!!

2008-05-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

I have to say, I had such an awesome weekend! Last week was so hectic that I had no time to get things done, so I approached Friday with much anxiety. I had papers to write, a house that desperately needs cleaning (...hello...Merry Maids!), and packing for the weekend to do. I had been sick for the past 3 weeks trying to get over the flu and being able to do little else but sleep. When my alarm went off Friday at 4:30 am, I had still accomplished nothing and now had no time to do it. So, I prayed that when my parents (along with everyone else who has a key) pulled into town this weekend that they wouldn't swing by my place to check in on me...woo they would be concerned! Then I hastily packed my clothes and ran out the door...then ran back in to make sure my cats had enough food...whew...if I were a mom, I would have forgotten the children; as it was, I forgot my bible and journal.
Anyway, I left work a couple hours early to trek on down to the Springs for a Beth Moore conference. I stayed with Holly to save on the commute...what a blessing! (By the way, she typed up some pretty good notes on her blog...check it out). We got there early and stood in the FREEZING cold for a about an hour before the doors opened and tried to provide some huddle warmth for an elderly lady waiting in line...she was so precious...drove from Lake City to be there (I love Lake City...I took my nieces camping there when they were younger 'cause I love it so much). From the moment the conference began to the moment it ended, I was in awe. It was as if every word was being prophesied over me, or guiding me, or convicting me...and the WORSHIP!!!! OHHHHH!!!! I was a mess! It's measurably good by how much makeup remains on the face. I had to calm myself down a couple times 'cause I was about to take off. I know Beth said everyone worships differently and it's ok, but I felt like Hammy from Over the Hedge, and when the team started singing "come running, come running...," I promise you, I tried to convince myself that I could run as fast as Hammy around the arena and no one would even notice! I contained myself, but Woooo, it was GOOOOOOD!
Saturday, the conference ended at noon, but we all went out to eat and fellowship afterward...I spilled my water all over the table...that was exciting...can't take me anywhere! I must add that when Holly and I went back to her house, we played some Whodunnit and I won! haa haa Now generally I don't brag, but her and her hubby are so smart, logic and strategy just ooze from their beings...me...I'm lucky! haa haa So, I have to rub it in. I left that evening 'cause I needed to write a paper, and in my rushing to pack, I also forgot the paper I had been writing out and didn't want to have to think anymore. ;)
Sunday evening I went to a girlfriends house and watched God.tv because of the revival that is going on in Florida. I don't have God.tv, and neither does she, but we watched it on her laptop and chatted and were amazed at what is going on, and we chatted some more and then prayed for each other...it was the perfect end for a perfect weekend.
I am still in awe over all I received from the conference. I left some fear behind as I walked away from that arena and I am anticipating life like never before.

I Was Tagged

2008-04-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

Melanie tagged me this week for a Six-Word Memoir Meme, and I will be tagging some of you 'cause this was interesting...but not easy. Anyway, here goes:

The Rules:

1. Write your own Six-Word Memoir.

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want.

3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.

4. Tag at least five more blogs with links.

5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

So...here's my memoir: Driven by desire...guided by God.

I don't think I am supposed to give some sort of explaination, but just so I don't get comments thinking this is a bad thing, I'll at least explain that it has several meanings. My life fell into a series of patterns from the time I was a baby...as a child was constantly driven by the desire of others. Yet, all the while the Lord's hand led me exactly where I needed to be. Today my own desire drives me to accomplish things that are beyond my complete comprehension, but I am not so driven that I can't allow Christ to take the wheel and guide me.

Ok, so here are the blogs I am tagging:
Nadine
Holly
Teri
BeckyJo
Monica

Happy Meme's!

The Mind...A Terrible thing in Haste

2008-04-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

One more class down, three to go. Missed y'all...I tried to pop in when I could to see what you were all up to. Mel, thanks for your support, prayer, encouragement, and listening eyes...glad you're my friend.

So I have been slightly out of character recently and decided to start listening to what I am thinking. I think many people have lots of thoughts going through their mind, but never really listen to what they are saying to themselves. I thought I would share with you an early morning thought process I had. Now, if any of you thought I was nice...well, my apologies to you...I try for the most part, but I believe my mean neurons get a little overly charged at times and take a road trip to the deep dark forest of my mind. This short story is evidence of such road trip:

There is a 2.7 mile stretch from Peoria St down Mississippi Avenue which I take every morning to work. The first mile and a half is fairly easy going. I hit my first stop light at Havana St. The traffic light is not there to allow other traffic through, indeed not. It is there for a few other reasons...like...making sure I didn't leave anything at home in case I need to pull a U, or so I can plug my ipod in, or to give me a minute to check my hair, but the most important reason for that traffic light is so I can slowly look to my left...and then to my right...to see if I have any worthy opponents to take on my 4-cylinder hoopdie for the next 1.2 miles. Most people just look straight ahead pretending they aren't feeling the pressure...but I see beyond their zoned expression.

When I was a teen, we used to play a video game called Pole Position in which we reved our engines until the final tone called out our green light...then we were off. Well, traffic lights don't have the beep, but they did place a countdown on the walk signal! As soon as that red hand flashes, all eyes turn and gaze at it for the 3-2-1-0 then instantly snap back to position for the 3 second countdown to the light change. GREEN!!!! We're off! Uhh, rather...they are off...my little car is like the Little Engine that Could. My mind screams "no, they're getting ahead." I check my rearview mirror and notice the person behind me moving into the next lane over and I think "oh no you don't...you were behind me...you're staying behind me." I pick up the pace...35, 45, 50, 51...suddenly I find myself passing my initial stop light opponents...my mind laughs out loud because I know they fear that cop around the corner...I know no fear and chance that (uh 16 miles over the speed limit) ticket as I flick my hair on the way past them. Now, to cut them off so I can be the first to Leetsdale. My mind whispers "yeah, don't mess with me," then panick strikes..."oh, please don't look at the sticker of the girl kneeling before the cross that I have on my back window, oh please please please" but the guilt still doesn't lead me to repentance, and I dare not tell the Lord I won't do it again, for that would be a lie. My mind is seared from the rubber I burned a mile back...ahhh but...I won this time! Suddenly the rush is over and everyone settles back to normal speed because no one is really in a hurry, we all just want to be the first to Leetsdale.

What a Life!

2008-03-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

I have had the most bitter-sweet 2 1/2 weeks. Thanks for your prayers and kind thoughts...I wish I had been doing homework, but that was not the case...my life was invaded. Sorry to those of you who have heard the story, I thought I'd share with everyone rather than re-writing it.
My oldest niece Frances went in for gallbladder surgery...no problem right...in and out in a few hours and has women at the house that can help with the baby. Well Wednesday night after surgery, she put the baby to bed and collapsed in pain. I got a call saying that the ambulance had taken her to the hospital...unfortunately, I left my cell phone at work, so I was home writing my final paper. Actually I think it was a God thing that I didn't have my phone because I would have gone to the hospital and never would have had time to do my final. Anyway, the next morning I got to work and checked my phone and left for the hospital.
The doctors thought she might just be overly dramatic from her surgery, so nothing was done until 1pm Thursday when they did a CT scan. Then Dr Dave came in (wooo hoo...he was so good looking...the bright spot of being at the hospital all day). He told Frances that she had some fluid internally, but it was just from the irrigation from surgery and again suggested that she might just be overreacting. That's when I had to pipe in. I said everyone in this family has an extreme threshold for pain, for Pete's sake (not that I know Pete or anything), she had her child natural and was up and around the next day and didn't need a single Tylenol. He looked at me seriously then and said "we'll try one more thing." They took her in for more tests and found that her body had filled with bile. Apparently, Dr Dave somehow poked a hole in one of her bile ducts and wasn't aware of it. They rushed her into surgery and put some sort of drain pipe (that's what I called it) in her to get the bile out....uh, I had lots of names for the gadget, but was yelled at because laughing = pain...therefore, names were forbidden (I still had to throw a few cracks in). So, Dr Dave woke me up around midnight to let me know how the surgery went...mmm hmmm...Dr Dave was a nice wake up call...lol. Anyway, so all is sort of well...right...wrong. Frances has a baby, which now means Auntie has a baby.

I called it "the runway".

Like I have a clue what to do with a 6 month old baby...so I put her on the runway and provided healthy boundaries for her...like any normal psych student would. I pulled every available pillow, and puffy quilt in my house to make it a most pleasant experience for her and me both. She's a roller and I didn't want her smacking her precious head on the concrete fireplace floor thingy, or grabbing any wood to build a fire...she's a smart one...lol.
She really was an awesome baby. She took a bath, took her last bottle at 7:15, and I took her upstairs and put her in my feather bed, laid my hand on her little belly and prayed for her, and she was out. She slept with me the first week and I would wake up and poke her to make sure she was still breathing...scary thing those little people are.

Granny (my sister) came out the first weekend to help with Frances...so she got 6am baby duties...lol...oh yeah, I woke her up sent her to my room and I crawled in her bed...then, of course, got up to take a picture. hee hee

I took time off work to take care of her...she is the most darling little girl in the world, but I was so stressed out. I didn't know if I should find a daycare...how I was going to budget for daycare...how I would choose one...uhhh...then I finally said "Frances, you are going to have to find a way to comfort your baby without holding her." Sounds kind of mean, but I was freaking out. So I set everything up near the runway so Frances would be able to change her, feed her...blah blah blah...with as little movement as possible. Well, it worked and I went back to work, but like I said, I have no idea how to care for a baby and while Frances was taking care of her, she noticed that Anika's neck was swollen. Anika has a thyroglossal duct cyst and it became infected and I didn't notice it...it was the size of a ping pong ball. Woo, I felt bad. We got that under control and she forgave me, but passed her little cold on to me in the process....little petri dishes too they are.
Anyway, so I'm sick, working, coming home and taking care of Frances, and doing my baby routine...every night after I put her to bed, I went right downstairs, sat on the sofa, and fell asleep.

Meet Senior Penguini

She loved this little guy...he's a bath sponge I got in my expensive little shop-because-I-have-a-baby-in-my-house trip to Target...it was soooo much fun!

My cats weren't thrilled about the addition, but they certainly have taken to sleeping in her bouncer. I warned them that they would be gassed if they touched the baby. They took me serious too...they never stepped on the runway...they always walked the perimeter of it knowing my eyes were watching them. My Chloe is not fond of little people, she pops them on the forehead and smacks their bottom's when they walk by her...at least she keeps her claws in. Anyway, my boy cat is a sweetie and eventually allowed her to pet him and even purred to Anika's utmost delight...I think he was really starved for attention. No, they aren't spoiled.

So, the drama has ended. I took Frances and Anika home on Sunday and then went to bed. I was really exhausted! Monday morning I woke up, and as usual, I turned on the Joni show to wake me up a bit, then when I hear Joyce Meyers voice, I know it's time to get up and get ready. Well, as I was getting ready, I heard Beth Moore on Life Today...I went into a full on panic attack because I thought I was so tired that I slept until Wednesday!!!

My homework was late two weeks in a row and I never wrote a huge paper, so I have some making up to do, but I am finally back to normal. Sure do miss my Bab's sweet smile & kisses though!

Guidance

2008-02-11T22:10:00.000-08:00

Instead of writing my paper, or studying statistics, or reading my never-ending homework chapters, I took a moment to ponder what possible insight I could glean from the writings of Gilbert Keith Chesterton. In his piece called Enjoying the Floods and Other Disasters (July 21, 1906 Illustrated London News), he mused that he had missed the flooding of London for his trip to the country and rambled on of all the inconveniences one faces which can be joyful in some aspect. He wrote of some of these, such as waiting for a train and grumbling while a child sees the station as a vast play land filled with immense discoveries yet to come; and, chasing a hat on a windy day as such an unpleasantry (I know that's not a word, but it should be), and yet one could chase a leather ball and be applauded. (This is paraphrased of course and I am sure I have all but butchered his eloquent thought process.) He sums it all up by saying that inconveniences, whatever they may be, should carry within us some form of poetic enjoyment. This was pulled together to call attention to the importance of guidance as a spiritual discipline. While I was delighted to read this article in all of its romantic illusions of seemingly disastrous events; I still sat back and wondered what in the world does any of this have to do with guidance as a spiritual discipline. Then it hit me...
I used to look at guidance as having someone there for me to consult with; someone who actually knows what I am attempting to accomplish in the future so that if/when I unknowingly diverge, I can be lead back not too much worse for the wear. :) While I don't believe I am too far off, I think I will add to my thought process. I can see guidance now as also a way of seeing things that aren't focus driven, but rather "now" focused - if you will. Today is a day rushed with goals to accomplish and eyes so set on the results, or the proverbial "bottom line," that we fly by (at hyper-speed I might add) the beauty of the day, the wonder that God places right before our very eyes. A.W. Tozer said "In the deep heart of the man was a shrine where none but God was worthy to come. Within him was God; without, a thousand gifts which God had showered upon him" (The Pursuit of God: The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing).
I am of the opinion that to deeply pursue the things we desire without looking around and taking note of the "gifts" the Lord has given to us, is to endure the race with all self-sufficiency - self propelled - and selfishly, not trusting in or being guided by the One who gives us life, passion, and the drive to press toward that goal.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." (Phil 3:12-16)
I am not thrilled about clichés, but stop and smell the flowers along the way - they were a gift to make the journey far more pleasurable than rushed. Who is in a hurry anyway...God will complete his purpose any way He chooses, so I will choose to be guided by Him and find the wonder again in all the gifts He so freely gives me.
ps...if you choose to do the same, don't forget to give thanks. He is above and beyond worthy of it. :D

I think I did it! Take 1

2008-02-04T22:46:00.000-08:00

For explanation, see previous post...a bit dizzying at times, but I hope you like it as much as I liked making it.

Such a fun day!

2008-02-02T20:56:00.000-08:00

The hills were sweeeeeeet yesterday, so I thought I would chronicle the day.
Thank goodness I was the one with the camera. :D lol

Ok, we are heading out just after 7am.

This is my ski & boarding buddy Cindy (we skip work together to get some jibbing in)...lol...ok, I really don't jib - intentionally anyway.

Just as we thought Anthony had slept in this morning, he arrived.

Ok...so, we're off. Now, Breckenridge really isn't that far; however, on an early Saturday morning, it seems far because it everyone on the road wants to be the first on the lifts too, so traffic is HEAVY, but tolerable. So, we're stuck in traffic, but lightly talking - not quite sure what about...something to do with my ski's and Cindy took a deep breath and said "we have to go back." To that I replied "whatever, I saw my ski's on the rack." She said again "we have to go back; I forgot my boots." I laughed and grabbed my camera for the most awesome moment of panick ever! I got the hand! I tried to load the hand for all to view, but for some reason it wouldn't upload. She wasn't very happy, as you can imagine, so I offered my counseling expertise and asked her if she would like to discuss her anger. Ok, so we are all in a better mood now after couch time with Kate...so I snapped another pic on the sly. lol
She's not actually smiling...she's biting her lower lip 'cause she is still thinking we need to go back.
I know I am such a bratty friend. hee hee

Ok Cyn...I know you're reading this, so you might as well just get that blogger account and respond. What were you thinking?

Here are my guesses:

"Hmm, if we turn around now, we can get back to the house by 9am, then back to this spot by 10:30, then at least we could get some good AFTERNOON skiing in."
-or-
"With all this traffic, maybe I could jog back and catch up with them by the time they get to the first tunnel (sure wish I could remember the name of that tunnel)."
-or-
"Should I drag her on her ski's behind the jeep or just break her camera."

Anyway, I talked her in to renting boots for the day...good idea.

Anthony slept. Apparently our conversation couldn't hold his attention.

WELL...

As it turns out, the rental shop was right next door to Starbucks! HOW CONVENIENT!!!! Guess what I did...

Guess what Cindy did...

Ok, pic's a little fuzzy, but I don't have a paparazzi fast action camera.

Finally we arrive. I'm in my gear and ready to run...just waiting on the Gumby's:

Pose Time

Goofy Gumby on the left,
Regular Gumby on the right.

FYI: Goofy & Regular are boarding terms for which foot you lead with. Goofy leads with right & regular with left.

Gumby refers to that little green man of long ago with a horse named Pokey...yeah, remember how Gumby walked...that's how boarders walk when on their boards.

Ok, I thought I would take you on a short jaunt with me; I created the most awesome video of our trip (with some live ski action from yours truly), but I couldn't get it posted because of it's extension (I created it in Windows Movie Maker), even You Tube couldn't post it! So I have to figure out how to convert it (that's ok, it helps me sharpen my evangelism skills...lol)...ok that was a bad joke. Anyway, I'll post it as soon as I can figure it out.

So, here's the rest of our day...

Cindy and Anthony decided they were going to do some jumping, and well, I just happened to notice that Anthony caught a bit more air than Cindy did...even today, I bet Cindy is pondering how Anthony could have possibly jumped higher...not that she's COMPETITIVE or anything. Side note: I actually told her I was going to ski because when a boy is with us...she tends to get aggressive on those hills...thus the helmet too. Now, I'm all for safety, I wear my helmet every time I board, but Cindy only wears it sometimes (like when boys are with us...lol). Truth is: I HAVE to ski to keep my edge on Cindy - I don't like being left behind...(yup, I've got the C* streak myself).

The guys at the gondola stop were decorating again...I thought it was charming:

Anyway, Cindy is still not over that fact that Anthony jumped higher than she did and began practicing her jumps in the parking lot....and...

WOA... Ok, either the rapture just took place, or Cindy jumped pretty high. I don't know, Anthony and I didn't want to find out, we just got in the car and left...isn't that what friends are for?
haa haa

Just kidding, we all got home safe and sound, another great day on the slopes.

Huh!?

2008-01-31T18:18:00.000-08:00

What do you title a blog you don't intend to go anywhere? So, if you're really interested, this is just a hodge podge of stuff from the past couple days.

First, I am going to leave because I am craving coffee and since I have been eating raw (for the most part...I took the day off yesterday), I don't have half-n-half, in fact I have nothing in my fridge that can't be planted...ok, that's an exaggeration, but not much of one. Anyway, must jog to Walgreens for some half-n-half. Oh man, I need to change out of my pj's first...hmmm, if I drive I can just put my trench coat on...yeah. Ok, so I am going to drive 1/2 block to Walgreens. :D
Ok, coffee is brewing...ahhh the sweet smell of Boca Java's Courtside Chocolate...mmm.
(__)> yum, just what the doctor ordered (well ordered me not to drink anyway).

Ok, yesterday: What a cool day. I got to meet some blog sisters for lunch. Oh, they are such wonderful people. I, of course, am painfully shy so I felt a bit akward and out of place, but they are such lovely & friendly people the akwardness didn't last long. Joanne was the hostess, and did such an awesome job with everything...the gathering was absolutely charming. Let's see, Holly was there (which I am so grateful for 'cause she was the only real live person I knew), and the other ladies, Meridith, Angie, Kimberly, and Kari (although I had frequented most of their blogs) I had the pleasure of meeting for the first time. They all had camera's, but I was in such a hurry to finish my paper and get over there that I forgot to grab the camera; however, I have the best picture of all.

Oh yeah, eat your heart out ladies...photography is highly overrated when it comes to the artistic visual mastery from the heart of a child. BUT...if you must see a pic of us all, I believe just about everyone in the group posted the actual gathering picture...just click on their name. :)

Today: You know...work and stuff. But tonight, I put on some Elijah Streams internet radio (prophetic worship), and didn't cook dinner...lol...I love it. I had soft taco w/fresh tomato salsa...I think I over did it with the spices in the salsa though 'cause my chest was burning, but it was awesome. The shell was a collard green leaf, and the filling was made with walnuts, cumin, coriander, & Nama Shoyu (aka health freak soy sauce), and of course the salsa (tomato, cilantro, onion, fresh lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, cayenne, cumin, & coriander).

My studies: I thought I would introduce you to my homework helpers. This is Chloe in action:

Of course she has to perch herself on top of the pillows I have used as a lap table and contemplates her next naughty move.

Drawing her claws and moving in for the kill.

She's a stinker, but ahhhluvher!

My Simon isn't so aggressive...he just sits between my feet while I work on the 'puter.

There ya have it...a day in the life of Kate and her kitties.

Break Time

2008-01-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

Hi all. Many apologies for not keeping up with the blog. I started back for my final semester in school woooooo hoooo. Anyway, I am taking five classes in order to get through it this semester. It was 6, but I was booted out of one of my classes because the enrollment was too high...that class will have to be completed after graduation.

Let's see...where did I leave off...oh Houston. Well, I had a wonderful time with my beautiful niece Nikki...we had a great time. I had to do my duties and wake her up the first day...girl could sleep forever...I mean really...it was 7:30 when I started singing and making loud rise-n-shine noises...ah youth, but I'm sure she'll love this picture! hee hee That's what Auntie's are for.

Note worthy event: My hair was AWESOME. Maybe that's why I love Houston so much, I have great hair days there. Must say though, I had a couple of travel size items...one was face moisturizer and the other was hair gel...well, I kind of got the two mixed up 'cause I was talking and primping at the same time...that just doesn't work...I put face moisterizer in my hair...my niece just stood there and smiled, then said "what are you doing?" Of course she said that after the fact, so I thanked her kindly and we laughed.

Anyway, we went to La Madeline for breakfast (yumm), then I dragged her all around the Galleria and watched the ice skaters. I think it's pretty cool that they have an ice arena in the middle of the mall! We have a couple ice arena's at malls here, but it's cold enough to keep them outdoors.

We had a great time just hanging out with each other. It was so cute seeing her all grown up and in her own place...she actually unplugs all her appliances before she leaves her house...lol...I remember when I was that responsible. :) When I left she called her mom and cried 'cause she didn't want me to leave (I'm not supposed to know that of course). She's a doll; I can't wait to go back. I'll see her in Kansas in May for her little sister's graduation.

I started school the Wednesday after I got back...woo, class until 10pm, a 40min drive home, and at least an hour wind down before bed...it was rough getting up the next morning for work, but I am back in the swing of things. Well, sort of...I have two papers to write for tomorrow and I am so disciplined that I am writing you all...I'm a last minute sort of gal. I have a work best under pressure sort of thing going on. You know, in my psych studies I found out why I do that. I can't remember where I got this, so take it with a grain of salt, but I read that the reason for procrastination in studies is actually a fear of failure. For instance...I typically make A's on my papers, so I think "Wow, that's awesome, and I did it all last minute." However, if I make a B on my paper, I can say "well, it's ok 'cause I did it in a bit of a hurry." Good excuses. Here's the kicker: If I spend quality time on my papers and do not make an A, then I have failed at my endeavor to make an A and therefore, I have failed. It's true too. My first B I was devastated...I even cried. I called a friend of mine all boo-hooing and she said "who told you that you have to make an A?" I did of course, so she said something to the effect of - they don't stamp your degree with your grade. From then out, I decided to scrape by with C's and D's...ha ha...kidding...just seeing if you were still with me. I'm up late posting 'cause I took tomorrow off to meet up for lunch with some blog siesta's. I'm excited about that! Of course, I can't go if I don't get my homework done because class is tomorrow evening...eek...I think I'll make a last minute A...lol.

Well, school isn't all I've been doing. I've had to take a couple breaks and head to the hills...a must for educational as well as everyday morale. Here's a couple lovely pic's from a hill in Keystone:

Heading back up for some ski time on Saturday with a couple friends of mine.

Ok, I best sign off. Thanks for checking in while I was away. Monica, all is well. ;)

Houston...Here I Come

2008-01-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving for Houston today to hang out with my niece Nikki. I love Houston. I used to travel there for business and loved it so much. I would live there, but I would miss the mountains too much...and the 4 seasons. I'm not a mall person, but for some reason, I can't wait to go to the Galleria again. I have done some of the best shopping in Houston. When FAO Schwartz went out of business there, my co-worker and I purchased over $600 in toys...everything was 90% off...yes, I said it right...90%. It was so much fun, it actually cost us more to ship everything back than it did to purchase the stuff...even still, you couldn't beat the price. I din't have to purchase toys for three years. And, actually, I just gave away the last of the Star Wars action figures this past Christmas.

Ok, so I am, for the most part, an organized person. I work for Colorado Baggage & Paridise pen part time...very part time. I must keep my love for fine writing instruments and beautiful luggage at an affordable price. If I loved shoes, I would work at a shoe company; if I loved jewelry, I'd work at a jewelry company...'cause I'm pretty cheap, but I do love nice things. Anyway, there is one company I must plug here...Eagle Creek...they make the best travel accessories (which I get at around 65% off...woo hoo). Why am I telling you this??? Check this out.

Do you know I packed for the entire weekend in this 11x16x8 boarding bag. Three outfits, jammies, uhh the extra clothing bits and pieces, two pairs of shoes, and all my toiletries & cosmetics (of course those all have to be in 3oz containers in a ziplog bag...classy!). Pretty sweet huh. My helpers: 1 EC packet folder, 1 EC packing cube, and 2 shoe-ins (a must for keeping shoe grimies off the other stuff). I should be hosting some online packing seminars. Here's the #1 question I get from travelers "How do you keep your business attire from wrinkling?" I'll share a secret...you can't! lol However, there is a way to minimize the wrinkles...when you place your clothes in your suiter, wrap each item in dry cleaner bags. The constant shifting during travel is what creates the wrinkles in your clothes, but if you use drycleaning bags, your clothes are less likely to wrinkle because they aren't getting hung up on other clothes or fasteners that cause them to bunch up...and I think it may have something to do with the static that is left in those bags, but that's just my opinion.

Ok, that's all I have for now. I'm off...leaving the 40's/20's weather for 60-70's/40's weather. woo hoo...spring time in the middle of winter.

Woo Fun

2008-01-07T19:53:00.000-08:00

Oh this day was just AWESOME!!!! I took off from work and headed to the hills (since I missed out on Saturday's ski time). Just so ya know, the weekends are for skiing, and the weekdays are for snowboarding. There's much more room to jib during the week. :) Anyway, here's a photo tour of my day.

The breathtaking scenery. Vail pass was closed both ways for avalanche control, so, as you can see, traffic was backed up forever, but the hills were a radiant white...and calling our names. It took us 3.5 hours to get there...but, full tank of gas, good music, good company, and good looking boys to smile at in the passing cars...who could ask for more? Of course, my friend Cindy's dad was on the phone making sure we had a full tank of gas and food with us...lol...we had no food, but we certainly didn't forget our Starbucks! Starbucks...it's the important things that matter. :) (side note: dad's don't seem to stop being dad's even when you're in your 30's.)

Well, we finally made it and of course we had to get ready by doing the snowboard doo...it's the thing. :) Mine doesn't spray out like Cindy's does, it just kind of flops...guess it's too long.

We then took a gondola ride to the lifts.

Kicking back...oh yeah.

) Nice boots.

( Thanks, they match my outfit.

Apparently some of the gondola operators were pretty bored. They were utilizing their literary freedom in a snow pile at one of the gondola stops...quite possibly a play on words...but ya never know, and I didn't have time to ask...we were all laughing...even the guys in their cage. I never thought of New York City as being boring, but then...I've never lived there.

We then strapped in and took off down the slopes....ahhhh fresh powder! (Note: fresh powder is a necessity for soft landing...which I happen to do plenty of.)

I didn't do what this kid was doing...I should have. I made many prints in the snow, but none of them were angelic.

(note to self: stop to make some angels next time)

We ended our day as any die-hard Colorado ski/boarder would...at the infamous (at least in Colorado) Idaho Springs Beau Joe's Pizza. MMM...we split an individual pizza and had salad...yumm.

Look at the big fluffy snowflakes!

The drive back was much better than the drive there...even though the roads were actually in worse condition.

So, that was my day...now I'm going to soak my soreness away and prepare for a new day.

These Hands...Lethal Weapons???

2008-01-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the ugliest room in my house...the garage.

I turned it into a sort of gym/garage. I thought it was time for me to stop hanging my laundry on my exercise equipment and actually put it out somewhere. I also thought I would make some use of all the left over paint I had...yeah...it's ugly. Anyway, since the winds were too strong and the temperature too cold, I didn't head to the hills for my planned ski time today...a storm is blowing in and I'm a chicken on the I-70 mountian drive during storm weather. So, I decided this morning to finally put together the Total Gym that had been sitting there for six months (or so) and get back into the workout groove. It only took me two hours to figure the thing out, but when I did, I put it to use for another hour.

I was feeling pretty pumped after working out, so I decided I would get some kickboxing time in. I started to shuffle and gave it a good jab, then another...ducked back and hit it with a couple cross punches and some hook shots...I was in my groove! Do you know my worthy opponent jumped out at me...all 80lbs! If there was a referee, that bag would have been penalized. Anyway, apparently I won 'cause it's still passed out on the floor.

I'm actually kind of bummed...'cause the metal

snapped and I haven't got a clue how to fix it.

Guess I can't work out anymore. haa haa haa

just kidding!

I guess my hands really aren't lethal weapons, unless I'm using them in prayer...wooo look out. :)

I really feel good having worked out today. Now I just have to keep it up...it's not like I am very far away from the gym. :)

Ok, this has nothing to do with working out, but I have to share this clip. My little nephew is so darling...he sang me a "Christmas song" last night...if I had all the energy my neph's do...I wouldn't need to work out.

My Health Journey - Ahi...Aha

2008-01-04T10:22:00.000-08:00

So I am on a quest for healing. I have slightly altered my diet. I generally eat vegetarian...well, that is the easiest way to explain the way I eat. Technically, I'm considered a "pesco-vegetarian" because I eat fish, eggs, and dairy products. I don't have convictions about eating meat, I simply cannot process meat due to severe pancreatic damage. So, I have struggled with weight issues because I don't get enough protein. Last month I attempted NutriSystem for vegetarians (please note: I have no "beef" haa haa with NutriSystem), and became extremely sick. I was unable to process their food no matter how many enzymes I took. So, after two or three weeks of being off the diet and on the mend, I decided to go back to a diabetic/PV diet...it's just easiest.

I always purchase fish when I have the budget for it, and freeze it for when I don't. However, I generally only eat fish once or twice a week...don't know why, so I have a decent selection of fish in my freezer. My latest purchase was Ahi Tuna. I have never made Ahi before, so I took to the Internet to see what I could make. I came across this wonderful recipe at a men's fitness site (uh...another side note: I was not actually hanging out at the men's fitness site...I just googled ahi tuna and it sent me there. whew *wiping the sweat from my brow*). I did not notice the lovely picture, only that all the ingredients were live, fresh ingredients. I was soooo excited to make this, so I stopped by the Vitamin Cottage to get some ingredients I don't generally keep at the house, and went home to create my healthy dinner.
I chopped my jicima, tomato, cucumber, red onion, and carefully picked my cilantro leaves and arranged them beautifully on a nice platter (I must have the visual beauty of my chopping skills before I hastily toss them in a bowl). I then mixed my seasonings, as the recipe calls for, set it aside, and began making the salad. I mixed the juice and vegetables and realized it called for papaya vinaigrette. Ohhh man! So, I hopped in the car (hee hee) to get some papaya from the Safeway on the corner, and went home to puree some delicious vinaigrette. Having prepared all the food, the recipe then said to slice the ahi tuna in thin strips and serve it over the ceviche salad. OK...so maybe some of you know what ceviche is...I DIDN'T! I thought...oh no, this recipe is incomplete...it didn't even tell me how to cook the ahi! Panic hit, so I stopped and started over at the beginning (duhhh, about 3 times), each time stopping at the wine selection for serving. Finally, I read to the bottom and a rush of anxiety flooded me...OH NO, I'M SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS FISH RAW!!! What if I die! What if I get some kind of funky raw fish disease! When I finally calmed down, I tried it...oh...was it ever fantastic!!! I had a 3oz steak which I couldn't finish because I couldn't stop thinking about raw fish and grossed myself out (some things just have to grow on you). Since the recipe called for 2 steaks (tuna steaks that is), I made two but was quite nervous about putting the other steak in the refrigerator overnight...so I cooked it. Don't try this at home! I tried a bite ... I have never had anything so disgusting in all my life...had to discard my beautiful tuna. Lesson learned.

I thought about this event and reminisced back to a stint in my childhood. On Friday's, if all our chores were done, the family would go out for dinner and a movie. The twist to our evening out was that our dinner always consisted of ethnic foods. It was tragic dinning for a child...lol. The rule was "you don't have to eat it, but you do have to try it." I am thankful for that; if I had not experienced those days, I doubt I would have tried this recipe at all.

As for healthy, I have to say, this was the first meal in over a year that I did not experience any negative digestive effects. I felt great, I woke up feeling great...and ALIVE. haa haa

Click on the above recipe link if you would like to try this yourself...it's a lovely adventure.

New Beginnings

2008-01-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

2008! Wow! Where did ’07 go?
Over and over I have heard the words “new beginnings” being stated about this year. Those words resonate deep within me.
Every year, not unlike most people, I make resolutions, but always seem to forget them or just flat out break them week two of the new year. I feel so very different about this year because I truly do see it as a time of new beginnings. Last year, was a very difficult year for me. It was a year in which I found out my career would be ending. While I thought I was prepared for the change, I really wasn't. It wasn't just my career, I found out about some health issues (I knew something was wrong, but the doc's ignored my symptoms and did not actually diagnose it until I demanded an MRI). I panicked. I decided that I needed to fix everything before "the end." I think I destroyed most of what I was trying to fix, and my stress levels only added to my health issues. Then an awesome thing happened; a verse from The Bible came to mind "[b]e still and know that I am God..." so I sat down and listened. God spoke those words (Ps 46) at a time in which chaos was all around, and He reminded me that He is my refuge, my fortress, my protection, my God...all I had to do was trust Him. From there out, all I have done is listen...and it is so amazing how the Lord has gotten through to me. I have made decisions in which He gave me dreams directing me not to do what I had planned...He was so right. He also had people walk down from the platform at church and pull me aside to talk to me. I even attended a conference (what a conference...it was like Woodstock meets Jesus...whew, but that's beside the point) in which I knew no one, and He had someone stop in the middle of teaching to speak to me. Nothing impacted me like the words that were spoken that day. It was when the lights went on and I realized the Lord has plans far beyond my insignificant attempts at living.
So, my life is changing, and this year will definately be a year of new beginnings. The first four months, I will be locked up in my house finishing off the last of my classes (6 courses...ouch). My job end date is up in the air. Since I know every position in my area, some are rallying to keep me until June so that I could train all the people who were hired on with the new trust company; however, the current manager would like to wing it with her new people and let everyone here go in March. I didn't apply for a job with the new trust company, I never felt a peace about it, and I am suprisingly confident in my decision. So, if my employment ends in March, I'll have some fantastic study time; if it ends in June, I'll have some time to build where God says build. Whatever the future holds, I am so looking forward to it and will do what the Lord instructs me to do...and go where He says go. I am free, I am ready, and I am more than willing to meet this year head-on!

I hope this year is a year of new beginnings for you as well!

Isaiah 43:18-19
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Ahhhh Christmas

2007-12-26T23:27:00.000-08:00

December is such a busy month; but, by far one of the best months of the year.
It's a month were I step outside the box that I am so familiar with and embrace others.
One of the highlights of the month was spending time with my blog friend Holly. What a breath of fresh air...their family is soooo...functional. They are awesome. I have never seen a family work together as they did, I was more than impressed. We three girls baked cookies while the guys went out and hunted for supper (at the nearest Chili's hee hee). Actually, I must confess...little Kylie and I created cookie dough under the supervision of Holly, and while I would like to say I baked cookies, I actually baked one sheet and forgot all about them...uh...leaving the rest for Holly to follow up on. lol She's awesome! Then, I was introduced to a game called Whodunnit? I think that is what it was called anyway. It was so much fun...could have gone for another round, but it was late, so I took the kids up on a game in the morning, then was interrupted by the lovliest breakfast omelet...really, it was worth remembering. mmm mmm mmm I took my fancy plastic camera for cookie baking pictures, but forgot to take them; however, Kylie created the following picture which expressed our awesome time better than any Kodak film could.

Smith family: thanks for allowing me to share a piece of Christmas with you.

From there, I finally got into the Christmas spirit and did some mild home decor.
I decorated my mantel

The Christmas tree to the left is the only one my cats will allow in the house; any tree (or anything else in the plant family) will be chewed, and ornaments will be used for kitty batting practice.

And I decorated my windows (I had one of those battery operated candelsticks in each window...my godson's spent last weekend with me and as they drove up, one of them said "dad, is Aunt Katie Jewish"...I thought that was so cute, so I told him...nope...Aunt Katie is just waiting for her man to come so she leaves her candles burning in EVERY window so he doesn't miss it.)

ooooh...my Simon is on the couch...I just noticed. Any ideas on how to hide the cord?

I also decorated my entertainment center, but who wants to see a tv.

My delightful overnight with the boys consisted of dinner and all night at a Nickel-A-Play where we shot up Villain's, raced motorcycles, race cars, and spent lots of money trying to win cheesy plastic toys (and one "holiday assorted candle"), and watching movies well past midnight (uhh, well, I fell asleep watching The Underdog, but they were up). The next morning we went to breakfast where I was entertained for the next hour and a half with verbal replays of the first movie we watched, interesting comic reliefs involving omelet surgery and talking muffins, and plenty of giggles. I must say, I had a blast.

I picked up my niece and great niece for Christmas. Ahhhhh White Christmas. It was so BEAUTIFUL...big giant white fluffy snowflakes! No snow on Christmas Eve...not even remnants, but Christmas morning I had a good six inches on my balcony. So, I didn't house hop this year ('cause I live in Colorado without 4-wheel drive...yeah...next time); I just stayed home by the fire with my hot chocolate and my nieces and watched Christmas movies, read the Christmas story (the real Christmas story), and sang Christmas songs.
Anika hanging out with me as I watch Home Alone.

Even one of my kitties was in the Christmas spirit...maybe she just liked my scarf.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

I Haven't Forgotten To Post...I'm Sleepy! :)

2007-12-04T09:10:00.000-08:00

This is my last week of school for the semester and I have a ton of work to do tonight...I have 3 papers and a presentation to do. I've attempted to write a blog, but have only managed to fall asleep each time. :) But...after Wednesday...look out...no class for a month...I'll have to be posting something...or a lot of somethings.

My niece sent me a cute little picture of my great niece wearing the little robe I purchased for her during a recent shopping trip...I couldn't save it for Christmas Holly...I'm weak...lol. (Yeah...had to try out the hyperlink thing too...thanks for the training Holly...you Rock!) Anyway, isn't she just adorable!! If she comes to mind, please pray for her as she has something on her thyroid which is causing swelling in her neck and face. They don't want to do surgery until she is 2 1/2 'cause she would have to be on thyroid meds for the rest of her life; however, if it keeps getting infected, they will have to do surgery. I am totally expecting complete healing. Her next appt at Childrens Hospital is Dec 14 at 1:30. She is 4 months old and her name is Anika (like Pippi Longstocking's friend...only with one "n"). Thanks bunches for your prayers.

The Shape of the Church...is it a Square or a Heart?

2007-10-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

I had no clue what to blog about when I was mildly chided for not blogging in a while…thanks Leigh…keep me on my toes. My life is a continual stream of routine, so I’d rather not bore others with it, but I’ve really been worked up lately and thought I might share my most recent thought processes. (Sorry it's long...I'm making up for 2 months of not blogging.) :)
Back in August, I invited a friend to stay with me up in Winter Park, she loves to be in the presence of God, she loves being around other people who love God and encourage one another in the things of Christ, and she is also very willing to take those who haven’t got a clue and show them the things of God. Well, we began one of those talk past midnight chats about the Lord and what he is doing in the overall church and in our own church, and she asked me a question that really hit me hard. She said “you long for the same things of God that I do...why do you stay at our church?” I simply stated back…because the Lord hasn’t told me to go anywhere else.” That was such a plain and simple response, but the fact of the matter is…she shook me up with that question because, honestly, I like to serve in the capacity that I do…I like my “position” and I would never want to shake things up by moving. She went on to explain what she was searching for in a church and I explained that the church is us; we’re the ones that walk into the building to create one body called the church. I didn’t really know what I was saying until recently.
Last weekend another friend informed me of a news report on Carlton Pearson that hit many networks. So, I watched it and was absolutely appalled, not so much at the fact that he “had the revelation” that hell didn’t exist and everyone is saved (he even has a book titled "Get the Hell out of My Bible"). I wasn’t even appalled that he has begun another church (sponsored in part by the Episcopal Church – for additional interesting info on the EC, check out Charisma’s September 27th article There Is Weeping in the Cathedral). What bothered me was what I noticed of the initial church that accepted his disturbing doctrine. It was a church of “outcasts” as they called themselves (gay/lesbian, abused people); what I saw were people who served this man the way Christ served others…they washed his feet…and I couldn’t help but think that even those who claim to be “righteous” rarely, if at all, serve others in any manner resembling humility.
I am of the opinion that it is time we examine the attributes of the church as it pertains to its rightful place in our lives. I guess I’m thinking mainly of the church as it was described in Acts 2:42-47. It seems that the church has traded in community for individualism. Are we so caught up in our own lives that we can’t see the life that sits beside us in church? Are we so intent on getting our own needs met that we fail to see the needs of others? Is being a Christian a catch-phrase or an act? Are we adding to the number of our church by bringing in those from the streets or those from another church? Married people, how about inviting a single person over for lunch or out for coffee…single people, how about cleaning up the yard of an elderly person…elderly people, you have SO MUCH irreplaceable wisdom to offer, please share it.
When people were brought into the church in Paul’s day, it was important for him to discuss being the “body” of Christ because people then were honorable to their family...outside of their family...the game is on, and Paul needed to let them know that we are all a family and we function together. 1 Cor 12:12 says “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.” We absolutely cannot function without each other. 1 Peter 2:5-9 says “you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame." Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, "The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone," and, "A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall." They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for. But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
One more thing…tonight my teacher said the most profound thing. He stated that he left his house around 4 and told his “bride” that he would be back around 10:30 and that he can’t wait to see her again. He’s been married 35 years! Of course all the girls took a deep breath as he continued to say…you know, when I’m home, I just want to be in the same room with her. How incredible is that! We are the bride of Christ…does he want to just be in the same room as us?

Rev 19:7-9 “Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear." Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!'" And he added, "These are the true words of God.”

I’m just shooting from the hip here, but surely I am not completely off. I am open to the thoughts and opinions of others.
Hopping off my soap box now.

Another Year

2007-07-19T21:00:00.001-07:00

I went to Louisiana this past March and sat on the knee of a 200 year old oak tree. It was amazing to think that tree had been around so long and seen thousands of people…wow…and all the secrets it knew. I think about how grand God is…I pale in comparison to that tree, but sitting on the knee of the Lord…well…I’m completely hidden.

Today I have ended another year and begun a new one. I am not as old as the oak tree…thank heaven, but I remember being about 17 and thinking that my foster mom was so old and out of touch…well, I am now the age she was then and that is a scary thing. :)

I drove home from work today and despite the compelling urge to go straight to bed and forget this day exists, I went right to bed with an OLD journal I have kept since 1986. I have written in a journal since I was 15. They are very important to me since my life has changed so drastically over the years. The journal I read tonight is a different sort of journal. Over the years as people have spoken over my life, I have written it all down because I never want to forget what the Lord is telling me through people. So, tonight as I read through all the scriptures and words of encouragement, it struck me as so profound that through the years the theme has always been the same. Some of the words I never really understood until now. One specific word of encouragement stood out…it captured the story of Esau and the sale of his birthright. It reminded me that even while the things of this world pretend a zeal for the blessing that I should guard my spiritual birthright and not sell out to what looks right. Twenty years after that was written it hit home.

I know very well that this year will bring some serious life changes. Some I am looking forward to…some I am not. My company sold to TD Ameritrade and TDA will only be retaining about 40 people (there are 900+ in my company), and those select few will be csr’s, which leaves me out. There is also the possibility of me working for our VP’s new company, but I’m beginning to feel like that might just be the tradeoff…a morsel for my birthright. I had a slight glimmer of hope a couple weeks ago to purchase a coffee shop and ministry in Downtown Denver, but the owners changed their mind and would like to partner with a church and stay involved in the business. I am doing what I know to do and keeping my options open, but I am being pulled now more than ever to take steps that are completely uncomfortable. I am constantly being reminded of the ministry that has been in the works for YEARS. In all honesty, I want to run some place where no one knows me, but I feel like my feet are nailed to the floor…it’s rather frustrating. So, in my reading tonight, I really felt God asking me (again) to keep my eyes on him and He’ll be before me, beside me, holding my hand, teaching me, leading me...and even singing over me (Zeph 3:17).
Here are some of the scriptures I went through tonight, hopefully you will allow them to minister to you as well:

Isaiah 41:13 “For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

Psalm 139:3-5 “You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8 “This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Isaiah 48:17 “This is what the LORD says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.

Psalm 25:12 “Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I read all these and then some, and then I went to sleep. LOL The sleep I had longed for since my alarm went off at 4am. However, my sleep was short lived because my roomie came home and knocked on my bedroom door…I was pretty grumpy about having to get up, but of course I lightened up when I saw the present. :) Who wouldn't? She gave me a “Women of the Way” sculpture called “Someday My Prince Will Come” and has John 14:3 as a scripture reference. The artist wrote a nice side note in her booklet that says “no earthly relationship will completely fulfill you, no matter how wonderful it is. I’ve been married over 30 years, and I love my husband very, very much…but someday my Prince will come!” Isn’t that awesome! I about burst into tears. I love my gift – thanks EJ.

So, another year has come and gone, but the future looks awesome and terrifying all at once, but I will plant myself until He says “go,” and I will turn my anxieties over and let Him take me by the hand and lead me forward.

Love (The Samaritan Woman)

2007-06-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

I posted this in my HisHolySpace, but I thought I would share it with my fellow friendly google bloggers. :) I'm kinda stuck on the Samaritan woman. It's kind of funny, but years back I posed as her for Marilyn Hickey's Outpouring Magazine....Just so I don't get into trouble, it was February 1991 Volume 14, No.2. Dang...that was 16 years ago...yikes. Check this out...then hee hee hee and now...wooo hooo...it must be the living water 'cause I haven't aged a bit (shhh...just let me believe that).

Anyway...on to my blog...

Love

What an awesome verb. How we claim to know how to show love, yet we fall short way too often. To say we accept and forgive is simple…to show it…not so simple.
Over the past eight weeks I have been pulled to John 4…stepping away and being pulled right back. It preaches like no other! I’ve learned about worship, seeking the lost, and love so deep that God sets aside the wrong done and fully embraces the undeserving.
Here’s my personal assessment pulled from my complete exegesis of John 4:4-26 (email me if you are interested in reading the entire thing…it’s pretty long, but awesome if I do say so myself):
The passage of the Samaritan woman is not just a portrayal of what Jesus did, but rather John writes about who Jesus is. Knowing the struggle that lay between the Jewish people and the Samaritans, Jesus entered Samaria with a purpose…they too were God’s people and he had to draw them back into fellowship with the Lord. Today, Jesus is the bridge that connects everyone to God. It is all too easy to take on judgments of other people neglecting the fact that they too belong to God. Jesus met the Samaritan woman where she was. Sure, she walked up to the well, but Jesus brought her to a level of reality that said he knew her and still accepted her. We all have baggage that we carry, but Jesus meets us in the midst of our everyday life and gives us a free gift of eternal life.
When Jesus explained to the Samaritan woman the life he had to offer, he didn’t tell her to go to Jerusalem to worship there because he was not concerned about the place of worship, but rather the condition of her heart. It is so important that we are not in a game of leading people to Christ simply to populate the house of God, because we are the temple; 1 Cor 3:16 says “[d]on't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?” Relationship with Christ, as we see in this story, does not begin at a place of worship; it begins within the heart.
Though the focus of drawing the unbeliever to Christ is not to lead them to a church home, it is important to be in fellowship with people of like faith. Today religion is a plethora of whatever goes. Reality is no longer truth because truth is subjective. Many Christians today are being led away from the Christian faith to fit into the mold of the modern practices of worship which are no longer about the Lord, but about how we feel. The church of the United States, which prides itself on diversity, has passively sat by and allowed religious diversity to spill into the church just as the king of Assyria had planned for Samaria. Samaria knew the Messiah after Jesus’ meeting with the woman at the well, but their customs drew them back. Later, in Acts, we see Philip going into Samaria to preach the Gospel; without constant edification in the things of God, it is natural to slip back into the life we once knew.
God is love, and yet so many times we thrive on hate. Please be aware that every seeker can see through any pretentious stance we may carry. It is so important that we stay humble, that we not fear the rejection of people who have different cultural standards, that we view no one as less than - because we are all God’s children. What greater act of worship can we give God but to present Him with the sacrificial obedience of walking in love and reaching out…just as Jesus did…to those enticed away from the things of God in order to fit societies mold. That love that we pour out may transfer from one person to an entire city.

The Dating Escapades

2007-06-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

The not so good…the really bad…and the borderline ugly.

I don’t know why after 15 years of not dating, I decided to try my hand at this ghastly practice, but here’s what I’ve been thinking:

The aging process that has me frightened…I’m getting old and…oh my gosh…what about a family! I forgot to have one!
My sister’s child already has children…ouch. Children are awesome! Every child I know is my child…except one - that seems to be missing from my life.
I just want someone to be with. I’m so done with being alone. I have goals in life, and while I can accomplish them solo, the thought of having someone by my side with the same hearts desire would be phenomenal.
Sex. Yeah, I’ve thought about a time or two…more recently than ever before, and…decidedly, I would like to have it before I die; but I am steadfast on not compromising my values!

So, with all that said, I took to the dating scene like a fish out of water. I have a few issues: I don’t get out much, except to study at Starbucks, and I’m very shy. So I went to the typical student study Starbucks…the only one open 24 hours (oh how I love that!), and actually had someone come up to me and start a conversation. It was a normal conversation…can’t quite remember, but it went something like…nice day huh … yes, very nice … do you have any plans to get out in the beautiful weather … not really, but I’m sure I will. At that, I walked off like a dummy head. He followed me and asked why I walked away, I was dumbfounded. I thought the conversation was over, but he handed me his number and said to call if I’d like to meet for lunch. Holy Smokes! My first date in forever…and he was cute…had that buff, Latino, let’s go out and dance kind of look. We went to a lunch and played at Dave & Busters, but as the night progressed and he began to toss back a few…it got a bit scary. I found out he was actually from Morocco and searching for a wife to take back to Africa…The date ended abruptly. Upon mulling over my stupidity of that first date, I remembered as a teenager I promised the Lord I would never date anyone who didn’t Love God first. Ooooh…I broke my promise. In my feverish excitement over someone finding me attractive enough to take out, I dove in and didn’t consult the Lord. So, what to do next…there has to be some kind of way to screen these individuals…’cause I certainly am not going to date strangers anymore. Ahh, the internet.

YES, I did the dating sites!

The internet is such a great thing. I posted what I looked for in a guy, I was specific, and I was fairly popular…woo hoo. Here are my noteworthy experiences:

Guy #1: Great guy, Christian (of course nothing else will do), average looks, rides motorcycles, and had a job…this guy is meetable. We meet just up the street for coffee. He’s nice, but he decides to lay everything out in the first meeting…why he didn’t say all this before we met is beyond my comprehension…maybe he thought we wouldn’t meet (which he would be right), but it’s better than meeting and then never meeting again. I understand people making mistakes in their life, and I’m all for their desire for self-improvement; however, this man was divorced twice with four children from two different marriages, engaged in many various sexual encounters (why he discussed sex on a first date…I don’t know either, but I’m finding it’s not unusual), and four months out of an extended stay in the pokey for a life mistake. No thank you…I admire your will to change…God bless you in your future endeavors…moving right along.

Guy #2: Nice, active role in his church, loves God, great job babysitting the Broncos and Nuggets, nice looking, and a stellar profile obviously enhanced after meeting a few interesting people – which I can appreciate. We met and talked for a while. He told me about all the interesting people he met online – every one of them addicted to something – sex, gambling, drugs, or alcohol. So, rightfully so, he asked me if I drank, did drugs, gambled, or was addicted to any other thing. He was very relieved to find that none of those applied to me and then he complimented me…my head swelled…I got dizzy. Ha ha. He said that from my profile he was expecting me to look very average, but he was surprised, in a good way, at how pretty I was. That constituted another date…this guy was smart too! Ha ha ha. Date two we dine at Applebee’s. We discussed what a relationship would look like for each of us…and then he dropped the “S” bomb. He said two people should show their imitate feelings for each other through sexual activity. Ohhhhh…show me that in the bible Mr Church Man. Apparently, I am archaic in my beliefs of premarital celibacy. He said “I would hate to wait until I was married and find out its bad.” I told him that sounded like he speaks from experiences I would never want to know about, and that kind of thinking would bring a level of unfair comparison and judgment into his sex life. When the time comes, I think I would prefer to learn with my husband…not from. Our date ended politely with a much too long (in my opinion) and awkward hug. I think there should be hugging etiquette for the dating.
While I stand by my morals, this one I have to say shook me up a bit because of the circumstances surrounding it. In January, Beth Moore did a radio broadcast in which she told women to get their check-ups done…which I didn’t ever see the need to do. Well, I scheduled an appt shortly thereafter and was absolutely horrified! First, the doctor came in and proceeded to rake me over the coals because I haven’t been in for this type of exam, then the doctor, even though I told her, upon examination, was a bit shocked at the truth of what I told her. I never thought anyone could actually lie their way through one of these appointments. The short of it: she asked me why I don’t have sex and don’t I want to have sex and asked if I was depressed and needed to see a psychologist. Ok…excuse me, but do you realize I am not wearing clothes and you are practically yelling at me and telling me there is something psychologically wrong with me for not having sex. Ohhh…let me get dressed and then we can battle…lol…but, I just sat there silently stunned and unable to think to even utter a word. With all these things (the date, Beth Moore’s chiding, and the Dr’s appt) all happening within weeks of each other, I questioned myself harshly for a good month, but came to the conclusion that even if I am crazy, my God is just as crazy and is even crazy for me, and I will serve Him with my heart and my body no matter what authority figures, peers, or society dictates.

I’ve gone on dates with a couple other guys who were similarly disappointing and I wonder if I am the one who has issues. I have heard it said that if you are thinking that everyone else has issues, then look inwardly. So, I’ve looked, and I am sooo not willing to compromise...issues or not...haa haa haa. So maybe I’ll be single forever, but I think I’ve found some answers to my points:

The aging process…so what if I forgot to have a family…Jesus said “who are my mother and my brothers?” And while God was speaking to Israel, I like to take this verse as my own “For your Maker is your husband—the LORD Almighty is his name…” (Isaiah 54:5)
Children are indeed awesome, but if I never have them…I still have them “Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD.” (Isaiah 54:1)
Though I want someone to be with, I am never alone. "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:16-18) I guess that covers my need for a psychiatrist too. lol
Sex. I haven’t got a clue, but this I know - though I’ve been taught that “sin is sin regardless of what that sin is” it is not true! There is something more powerfully wrong with sexual sin and is even in a way spoken of differently in the Bible. Check this out: “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” Then it goes on to say “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18)

So, I’m done with the dating scene, I guess if it happens it happens, but I am rather doubtful, but am somewhat ok with it.

p.s. rather than typing a bunch of scrips, I got my verses from www.biblegateway.com. Check it out if you need a quick look up.

My First Blog - A little about me

2007-05-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

Well, instead of doing homework tonight, I decided to blog. A single tear will probably take a stroll down my face when I see my grade, but I think I can handle it...I do pressure well. :) Actually, I don't, but I certainly like to think I do.

I'm locked up in front of my computer most of the time, but I do like to have fun with the girlfriends. Here's a pic of a fun time. Us gals decided we needed a girls hike out and headed for Winter Park, CO. No, we didn't hike all the way there...woo that would be crazy; we drove most of the way...the cabin was a quite a hike in. We had a blast that weekend...no bonfire, but we built a snowlady (what!?!? Men weren't invited...even snowmen), we listened to very old records, we sang VERY loudly, and we danced like the respectable ladies we are ha ha ha...well, we were dorks, but we had a blast. Next cabin trip is scheduled for mid July, and no hiking in is required.

I also took up snowboarding this year...ouch...no I mean OUCH! Caught the hang of it (sort of) and went up as often as I could. Stole the pastors kid to get him addicted to the slopes early...for those who don't know...5th graders ski/board for free. Was glad to have the company when my regular ski-n-board buddy bailed.

I did some absolutely dynamic flips and spins and what have you's. In fact, after doing a perfect 380 spin parallel to the ground and springing up to my feet, an instructor yelled down from the lift "that was awesome...so ACIDENTALLY AWESOME." So much for pretending I knew what I was doing. ha ha

I have a friend from New Orleans that likes to come out to ski with his church peeps during Mardi Gras in LA to escape the, well...yuck...there. This year he didn't come, so I decided to travel there (not during Mardi Gras though...eww). It was one of the best trips I have ever taken...of course I had the best tour guide EVER!

Here are my two favorite pics from that trip (from 16 rolls of film...yikes): The Vieux Carre - French Quarter as we know it - early in the morning and a pic of the early morning fog from the ferry on the west bank of the mississippi.

Fabulous architecture, gas lamps, original horse tie posts, and early morning fog...it was absolutely divine!
Of course, I would be in error if I did not tell you about my morning stop at Cafe Du Monde for cafe au lait and beignets. mmm mmm mmm

The most important thing about me though is my love for the Lord. I am blessed to even be alive when the odds were against me from the beginning. I was abandoned at 8 months, lived in foster care for four years then was taken by my psychologically unstable biological mother and moved to a small town under an alias name...Jones of course...I suppose Smith would have been just as good, but I guess there were already too many Smith's in the town. I was severely abused growing up and began running away at a very early age. By the time I was a teen, I was a mess. I slept in parks, but I always figured they were safe places to be since my friends lived close by...in my young mind I figured at least if I died someone in the area would recognize me (frankly, any place was better than home...including the grave). Looking back, I am amazed at how the Lord protected me during the roughest of times.

Well, one fine day, I ran into one of my substitute teachers whom I absolutely adored. She asked me what I was up to, so I proceeded to tell her of my grand plans to go to California (CA was the place to be...I had to go there), and she asked me to come over for dinner and we would discuss my plans. Are you kidding!!! Who cares about my plans...did she just say dinner? ha ha Well, my dear Kay took me home with her and that night I found out she was more than a teacher...she was a Baptist! She had a much better journey in mind for me. In the few months I was with her, I learned so much. I didn't know of any morals or values, and knew very little of right and wrong, proper and improper...she had her work cut out for her, and even today I cling to many of the things I learned from her. I found out who Christ was during that time, and that he loved me ... wow ... me...the one who was told to grace the world by exiting it. How could he love me when I was vicious to people who even spoke his name around me? How could he love me when I didn't love him? But I found out it was true!

God didn't send Christ into this world to tell us what bad bad people we are (I think we already know that), he sent Christ to restore mankinds relationship to the One who's love is immeasurable, and who's ways are unfathomable. He loves us. In the bible, John 4 talks about a group of people called Samaritans. Samaritans were Jewish people who intermarried with people who worshiped other gods and idols. The Jewish people who were devoted to the one true God stayed away from the Samaritans...even to add three days to their journey by traveling around Samaria so they would not be tainted by the customs of the people. Then Jesus comes on the scene and says he must travel through Samaria. God still had a HUGE heart and love for the Samaritans...and they were doing all the wrong things. Jesus had a need to go there...a greater need than a shorter journey...a divine need. There he met a broken woman and offered her living water and life everlasting. He didn't care about who she was or what she did...he cared about her...just as He cares for you. It doesn't take much to have a part in God's family. The bible says "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Rom 10:9) One simple step makes a huge life difference.

I'm not up for debate, I'm just sharing; but, if you would would like to know more...talk to me.