The Voice of Another

The Voice of Another

I live my life at a fairly even keel…with one kink…living alone leaves me with nothing but my thoughts, His thoughts, and the thoughts of others. I believe I have a fairly good balance of the combination; however, at times I falter when my thoughts get in the way of His thoughts; but, I have some phenomenal people in my life who share their thoughts to pull me back into alignment when needed. That’s how it all works for me. Recently, I shared a fault of mine that I have been dealing with, not just to share this fault, but I was hoping to receive insight from a friend whom I know to be steadfast in this area. I was about to enter into prayer time, so I figured some quick counsel prior to prayer would be awesome. I was wrong. Instead of taking my fault before God and allowing Him to work it out, I opened myself to the voice of another. I find it interesting how easy it is to get away from following a voice you have grown accustomed to and follow the voice of another.
I’m reminded of King Hezekiah (2 Kings 18-19) who loved God so much he destroyed all the items of idolatry. The Bible says he trusted God and “there was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him.” (18:5) Over and over, the King of Assyria taunted him & all his people saying (in Kate’s words): who do you think you are all confident and stuff…and you think the Lord God is going to save you? Then he hit the people where it hurt by reminding them of the high places and altars Hezekiah tore down…and tossed a bit more confusion into the mix by claiming that these things were The Lord’s high places. He made statements which were somewhat true, but skewed enough by the lies these people once believed, that it shook them up. Hezekiah himself was shook up. He pretty much said woa, we need to hear from Isaiah on this one. Isaiah came back and said NOPE God said I got this one. Of course the king of Assyria came taunting again saying: you are listening to who…don’t you see that I have taken out every god in every surrounding country, now be afraid. This time Hezie got on his face himself and worshiped the God he KNEW (I have to quote him here…chokes me up) “and Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: “O Lord, God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. Give ear, O Lord, and hear; open your eyes, O Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to insult the Living God.”(19:15-16) Such an honest prayer. He said I know who You are and You are True, but I’m faced with some words that are also truthful. I believe he reaches the heart of God with his final words in prayer. He said “Now, O Lord our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all kingdoms on earth may know that you alone, O Lord, are God.” (2 Kings 19:19). Isaiah came back into the picture to reassure Hezie that God said he would clean up…and God showed up strong and mighty!
It wasn’t long before God spoke to my heart and said “who are you listening to” … I continued to “but” and bawl and He again spoke to my heart and said “who are you listening to.” I listened that time…to the Lord, let him do His thing, and then I went to the Word. It was the most interesting thing…I am doing an inductive study of Luke and I happened to stop right at the place where I needed help…as I continued I realized my Daddy was teaching me. He showed up strong and mighty, because that’s who He is…Strong and Mighty. The voice of another I will not hear.

Welcome 2010

My first blog of the new year...feels so strange. I've managed to escape the blogging world for about a half year...I don't know why...yes I do...2009..ugh. The year started off well enough, I was searching for employment and venturing to begin Destiny's Refuge at the same time. It was both exciting and terrifying. I dropped the ball on DR and jumped fully into my new job in accounting. I suppose it was easier than fulfilling my hearts desire. 2009 continued with not much to speak of. I put my all into employment and returned home exhausted. Mid year I dropped my scripture memory with all my siesta's...sure will be missing them in Houston in a couple weeks, thanks Ang for attempting to keep me running.
It's interesting how the new year begins and it is simply another day connected to the day before; however, we somehow see it as a fresh start. I am grateful for a fresh start! I can't make any promises this year, but I am beginning it with expectation, and my plans include coming out of the isolation I have created for myself and reconnecting with people. I pray for my siesta's this year, I hope it is the best ever; and, with all the humility I can muster, I am hopping up, dusting myself off and taking one step forward. Happy New Year!

Phil 3:13-14

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Headed for my High School Reunion

I'm sitting in my hotel room in Santa Fe, New Mexico getting some last minute blogging done before I head out again. I decided to return to Las Cruces for my High School reunion. Why? I don't know. High School wasn't exactly an eventful time for me, and if the truth be told, I really don't even remember the people I hung out with. I left Las Cruces shortly after graduation to attend art school in CO...when I left...I left! I have not been "home" in 19 years.

I'm staying with my foster sister, her hubby, and her 6 girls...yes 6 GIRLS! My foster parents have since divorced and married other people, and my foster brothers are...well, a mess. Every single family member loved and served God once upon a time, now most just love Him at a distance. I'm a bit ambiguous about the reunion and returning "home"; but, I can't help but think I'm on a bit of a mission...lol...kinda like the Blues Brothers ... "I'm on a mission from God." I am praying that whatever I do while I am there, I do it well.

Back to High School. My favorite memory: Once a week during lunch, in the science room, I would debate creation/evolution with a guy who claimed to be an atheist. His parents were Baptists, so I knew that the debate wasn't on creation and evolution, it was really over the hurt he had experienced causing him to question his faith...but I continued to argue creation. Every week the class had more and more people there to watch and listen. One day the class was packed out...people were standing in the hall, and I gave up. I remember telling him that I knew the whole debate wasn't about creation and evolution because deep down we all knew the Truth; and, what we had to come to grips with was why we allow education to infiltrate our belief system only in the areas where we seem to need answers to cover our pain. I don't remember everything I said, but I remember it was more of a ministry to him rather than debate, and I ended saying that one day even his knee will bow and proclaim that Jesus is Lord. I remember he had no response. He just stood there, so I left and the entire class began cheering and clapping. Later my science teacher stopped me and said she enjoyed our discussions and was sorry to see them end. I hope I see him there.

Feel free to share your own fond HS memory.

Love you all.

Saying Goodbye

I couldn't help myself...she's sooooooooo precious!

Tomorrow my niece is moving to Ohio to live with her boyfriend. My heart is broken! I've spent two weeks (since I found out) in tears praying my guts out for a change of mind...to no avail. I don't understand the lifestyle, I don't understand the mindset, I don't understand knowing Christ and justifying sin. I offered to marry them before they left Colorado, but that was met with silence. Maybe I'm harsh, maybe one could even call me judgmental, but there's my stuff...maybe I need to work on it...maybe not.

I'll miss my Bab's most of all! I'll miss our dancing together, our praying together, I'll miss the way she sings Holy Spirit Raaaiiiinnnnnn Dowwoooooooonnnn. I'll miss her Saturday morning snuggles in Auntie's feather bed...and her good morning hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi's 'till I finally peek at her and shower her with a hundred morning kisses, I'll miss the way she holds my face in her tiny hands, and I'll miss holding her's in mine. I hope she will always remember that Auntie loves her more than anything on this earth. AND, I hope and pray, and will continue to pray, that she never forgets how to worship! She loves her some WORSHIP! She always comes to my house and grabs her favorite cd, Hillsong You Shine, so tonight I went out and bought her a music and story book FP3 player and loaded the cd on it.

I don't have much else to say...for now my heart just weeps 'cause I'm already missing her.

Tasting the Flavor of Life

Well, the every day thing is obviously not working, so I thought I would post something before daily became weekly, then monthly...you get the picture. I suppose once a week is a decent quest...I'll try it...no promises though.

Panera offers the perfect place to eat lunch and blog (I love Panera), so that is exactly what I am doing. I have on my plate a most delicious chipotle turkey or chicken (I don't know) sandwich. This sandwich is so spicy, but equally balanced. I couldn't help but wonder what life would taste like if it had a flavor. Kind of strange I know, but I thought about prayers going up to God as a sweet smelling fragrance...come to think of it, aren't we the "salt of the earth"...that's what Matthew 5:13 says. Now I know it's more of a metaphor, but really, do we spice life up?

If I had to choose my flavor, I think I would like to be a chipolte pepper...just like the one on my sandwich...it has such a sweet flavor, but in a few minutes, you get all fired up after chewing it. Ah, yes, that would be nice; unfortunately, I'm more of an avocado...I'm a bit flavorless without salt, but with salt and maybe some chili and tomato's and a touch of lime...I'm off and running...can't stop the flavor. Yes, that's it...avacado...I also have a pit of life within me ready to go...waiting to be suspended above the water to reach my fullest potential. Hmmm, come to think of it, I wonder if I am ripe or over-ripened with those little stringy roots trying to achieve life within its little scope of being.

Anyway, just rambling on, but it's fun. So, what is the flavor of life? Nacho's...a little meaty, sometimes a bit cheesy (like now) with a touch of cream and spice on top?

A Week of Memories - I remember...RAIN.

I am challenging myself to write "I remember..." every day for a week. Hopefully this will propel me back into blog world. Just a few small blogs trips down memory lane. :) I hope you will join me by leaving your own memory lane experience in the comments.

It has been raining so much here lately, but everything is the most vivid of greens, and tons of gorgeous wildflowers are popping up, it's difficult to complain with all the beauty that surrounds me. I was thinking about the rain we were expecting this afternoon when I remembered the rain in my early childhood days, living in the New Mexico desert, FAR out in the desert (aka "the boonies").

I remember the aromatic smell of the desert...the initial fresh rain smell we all know so well, the heavy downpour that raised the dust 6 inches from the ground before it saturated everything, and the smell of the wet desert brush as the rain on it evaporated, filling the air with a hint of sage (I actually couldn't cook with sage until I was about 30...I guess I always thought of it as a weed). I remember at the first sound of rain we would all run outside and play in the bar ditches until our newly created pool/water slide became a mud bath. Playing in the rain was the greatest thing, even with the thunder and lightning cracking all around us. Growing up, one learns how dangerous it might be to play in thunderstorms; however, it never scared us, it only urged us to scream with delight all the louder...we were on top of the world, we were invincible, we were children.

Catching Up

Ok...so let me think back to February, when I actually posted last, and try to remember what has been going on.
*sisterface moved in: that was at the beginning of February. She thought she was going to be moving into a house soon, so why not...4 months later...lol. I actually love having her here. She makes my coffee in the morning, provides conversation that doesn't consist of the usual "feed me" mew I receive from my cats. She should be closing on her house next month; I think I may need to find a roommate...it's gonna be lonely.
*computer was captured by aliens: in all my days of Internet surfing I have never seen so many Internet windows open so fast! Before they could finish destroying my computer, I grabbed all the wires and yanked...it's actually quite fun...try it the next time you don't know what in the world is happening to your computer (every day is a bit extreme though).
*the geeks kicked puter thermoplastic and took back what belonged to me: took all my money in the process.
*had to get a job: This was actually an interesting thing. I knew I would be out of work for 6 months, and planned accordingly...I spoke with people who are leaders over me, and whom I dearly respect, and they were ok with that as well. Still, I continually put in applications and resume's during those months, and at times was fairly upset that no one was responding to my 200+ attempts to seek employment. Why was I upset when I knew I'd be out of work or 6 months? Well, 'cause I think I'm all that sometimes...lol. Seriously, I wanted people to want me even if I didn't want them (try not to judge here...just confess...lol). Yeah, my pride got hurt; however, month 7 made up for it.
*got a job: It's actually great to be working again. I am working as a temp to hire (they call it a "working interview") at an electronics company in their accounting department. I know I let you all in on my future plans, and I am still going ahead...just moving slower than planned.
*graduated: finally...after 5 years. I thought for sure I would graduate in 2008, but stuff and more stuff happens. I'm done though! So, since that is the most important news, here are some photo's of the big day...gotta introduce you to my peeps:

Was walking out with the class and Dad jumps out in front of me and snapped a pic. Goofy pic, but Dad's rock!

Dad, me, and mom. Now I know I don't look like them. I am adopted...they are the greatest peeps!

Sisterface, me, & my niece Desi.



Me on my cell phone of course. My Sylvia (pastor's wife) and of course, my pastor were there, so I was trying to figure out where they were so they could meet my folks and so I could get a picture with them; however, while I was hunting them down, mom and dad took off. Someone else has a pic with me and Sylvia (& Pastor Phil...lol), I just have a picture of me talking to her.



So my good friend Neddra (the little yellow dot in the center of the picture...lol) missed my graduation because she had to "work"...she lied...and I think still needs to repent. Meanwhile she was pulling together a surprise party. When I got back in my car ('cause I thought we were going to a restaurant...and we were burning daylight waiting) they all came outside to surprise me. Was pretty awesome!

This is my mentor Joyce Works. She is such an awesome woman - doesn't mess around - I do. Incredible testimony, steadfast faith, powerful! Only once in my life have I ever met someone who oozes the Word of God like she does. I am sooo priveleged to have her as my mentor.

This is my friend Pam. Her words are forever uplifting!

Me & Babs (she's grown huh), Desi, Siserface, Frances (aka JoJo). My biological family. It looks like we all tested the punch before the party got started, but I assure you, we all just naturally look that goofy!








Ms Kaycee, center stage. She's a blast! The friendliest person you'll ever meet.






My niece Alex, my sis Beth, and bro in-law Sam.




Good Times...Good Times!