Thursday, July 19, 2007

Another Year



I went to Louisiana this past March and sat on the knee of a 200 year old oak tree. It was amazing to think that tree had been around so long and seen thousands of people…wow…and all the secrets it knew. I think about how grand God is…I pale in comparison to that tree, but sitting on the knee of the Lord…well…I’m completely hidden.

Today I have ended another year and begun a new one. I am not as old as the oak tree…thank heaven, but I remember being about 17 and thinking that my foster mom was so old and out of touch…well, I am now the age she was then and that is a scary thing. :)

I drove home from work today and despite the compelling urge to go straight to bed and forget this day exists, I went right to bed with an OLD journal I have kept since 1986. I have written in a journal since I was 15. They are very important to me since my life has changed so drastically over the years. The journal I read tonight is a different sort of journal. Over the years as people have spoken over my life, I have written it all down because I never want to forget what the Lord is telling me through people. So, tonight as I read through all the scriptures and words of encouragement, it struck me as so profound that through the years the theme has always been the same. Some of the words I never really understood until now. One specific word of encouragement stood out…it captured the story of Esau and the sale of his birthright. It reminded me that even while the things of this world pretend a zeal for the blessing that I should guard my spiritual birthright and not sell out to what looks right. Twenty years after that was written it hit home.

I know very well that this year will bring some serious life changes. Some I am looking forward to…some I am not. My company sold to TD Ameritrade and TDA will only be retaining about 40 people (there are 900+ in my company), and those select few will be csr’s, which leaves me out. There is also the possibility of me working for our VP’s new company, but I’m beginning to feel like that might just be the tradeoff…a morsel for my birthright. I had a slight glimmer of hope a couple weeks ago to purchase a coffee shop and ministry in Downtown Denver, but the owners changed their mind and would like to partner with a church and stay involved in the business. I am doing what I know to do and keeping my options open, but I am being pulled now more than ever to take steps that are completely uncomfortable. I am constantly being reminded of the ministry that has been in the works for YEARS. In all honesty, I want to run some place where no one knows me, but I feel like my feet are nailed to the floor…it’s rather frustrating. So, in my reading tonight, I really felt God asking me (again) to keep my eyes on him and He’ll be before me, beside me, holding my hand, teaching me, leading me...and even singing over me (Zeph 3:17).
Here are some of the scriptures I went through tonight, hopefully you will allow them to minister to you as well:

Isaiah 41:13 “For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

Psalm 139:3-5 “You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8 “This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Isaiah 48:17 “This is what the LORD says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.
Psalm 25:12 “Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I read all these and then some, and then I went to sleep. LOL The sleep I had longed for since my alarm went off at 4am. However, my sleep was short lived because my roomie came home and knocked on my bedroom door…I was pretty grumpy about having to get up, but of course I lightened up when I saw the present. :) Who wouldn't? She gave me a “Women of the Way” sculpture called “Someday My Prince Will Come” and has John 14:3 as a scripture reference. The artist wrote a nice side note in her booklet that says “no earthly relationship will completely fulfill you, no matter how wonderful it is. I’ve been married over 30 years, and I love my husband very, very much…but someday my Prince will come!” Isn’t that awesome! I about burst into tears. I love my gift – thanks EJ.

So, another year has come and gone, but the future looks awesome and terrifying all at once, but I will plant myself until He says “go,” and I will turn my anxieties over and let Him take me by the hand and lead me forward.

9 comments:

Sharon said...

I saw you over on another site and you mentioned IHOP. I have just been talking about this place with someone in New Zealand. She said that this sounds like a place I should go. It was neat to see someone else talking about it.
We are getting ready to set up a group of prayer warriors in our area. So I have been checkig out their site on line.

MelanieJoy said...

Looks like Sharon and you are introducing me to the IHOP. Hey- if it is as good as my favorite IHOP (International House of Pancakes and by the way that's where my family took me for my birthday :)) I'm going to check in on it.
Do you remember when we introduced ourselves to each other and you comment on being Kindred Spirits?
I went on a job interview yesterday and now am torn between to fields I would love to be in. They are both rewarding and require me to step out of the "comfort zone" again. I'll keep your job in my prayers.

Little Steps Of Faith said...

Just beautiful dahling! And what have we been doing that we didn't call to say Hi to our dear friend(ME lol).

Much luv siesta,

~Angelina~

Kimberly said...

Found you via a comment on Joanne's (Simple Wife) site. Greetings from north Denver! I can't sew either-I've asked her for help though! Plus, I also have an extensive tea cup collection. Stop by for a visit if you like!

Sharon said...

Back in town.
I would love to see a post on one of your trips to IHOP.
Also--has there been anything negative in the media about them lately?
Someone had suggested that I go there but then they came back last week and said maybe I should reconsider.
I could not find the article they were talking about.

CrownLaidDown said...

Praying for you Kate! I still am praying for the coffee shop idea...it has stuck with me (even though it looks closed, maybe it isn't completely). I know that the Lord wants you to hold fast to Him and be engaged with the people He has placed around you...and yet, I understand the need to pull back sometimes.

May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him!
Love,
holly

Sharon said...

I finally got in contact with the other person about the IHOP info. It was not bad news. She was excited about an upcoming thing they are doing on spiritual warfare in September. I would love to go to this.
I bought a month membership so that I could see what goes on in the prayer room. Seems like it is a lot of singing.
I am interested in visiting at some point. My husband and I are praying about it.
God is stretching me in the area of prayer at the moment. I have been taught on prayer but I want to go deeper. We have an awesome tool to fight satan--I want to make sure I am using it the best I can.

Leigh Gray said...

hey girl - how are you? Are you too busy to be blogging right now?? Hope things are going well!!

Have a great day!

Leigh

Leigh Gray said...

hey grl - thanks for the comment about worship and my travel. I hope I did not come across as the payment in ministry as my reward. I did not mean that at all. My reward truly is Jesus!! He is my provider and great reward. Forgive me if i came across that way!!!

Love, Leigh