I had the most exciting thing happen yesterday...it was scary...but good. So, I thought I would share with my trusty peeps in blog world.
I'm going to start waaaaaaayyyyy back:
July 19, 1985 I was kicked out of my house. I can't for a minute say that I was innocent...in fact, the opposite was true. I was a chronic runaway from the time I was about 12 and basically lived my own life. I had no rules, certainly had no morals or even boundaries for that matter, and at best, all the people in charge of me could do was keep me out in the country...away from society, only problem with that was the school bus. I was out of control. Well, on this fine day...my birthday, I decided I wanted to hang out with my friends and was told that if I left I was to never come back. I left that day and never returned. I lived on the streets and slept in parks (near my friends homes in case I didn't wake up...someone would recognize me). The Lord ALWAYS protected me...I was never bothered and I made some great squatter friends who helped me learn to live on my own. Well, one day I ran into a substitute teacher whom I adored, and through a course of events I ended up at the Lighthouse for Girls in Gem, KS. It was a home for homeless and "throw away" teens.
My experience at the Lighthouse was awesome. Of course, it was hard having rules and schedules and all...especially after being a wild child, but I loved it...and I was loved. Since that time I have always wanted to open a home for homeless teens...and well, I was kick started into the beginning of the process in '03. Now, though somewhat terrified in stepping out, I am going to run with it.
Saturday, my dad traveled back here for some doctors visits and I knew this was going to be my time to tell him...I just didn't know how or when. Of course when he arrived, I was grilled with questions on what I was doing, how are my finances, how long has it been since I've had a good meal (to which I replied "this morning...thanks for buying" hee hee...please...do I look like I don't eat...uh...I don't think so), and where I was looking for jobs (my job ended back in August), so I told him everything he asked, but somehow I couldn't get to the organization part...he worries sooo much and I just knew he would go off on a tangent about religion, doctrine, government, and money to support the place (in that order too). He despises what he calls "beg-a-thon's" and other attempts ministries make at fundraising. I was at a place where I felt I had to answer for something and my insides tightened because I just wanted to say "I believe in miracles, I believe God has my back, and I believe in my purpose in life." All I really could say is "all this stuff doesn't make any difference, and there has never been a time when I have been without. None of this matters to me...I can loose it all and it doesn't matter." To which he replied "*sigh* I know...I just don't see how you can be so calm in the middle of this." Later he called my mom and my sister and told all...ahhh gotta love family. He had not heard the best yet though.
Last night he was standing in the kitchen and looked over at the computer and said "is that you?" I said "yeah, it's my MySpace page" and he asked if he could read it...I said of course...I don't have anything to hide...why not. So he came over and sat down and started reading it...I forgot I had written on it that I am hoping to open a home for homeless teens and such. He started talking about "the business" and I just said...it's my ministry. I told him I had been working on it a while...let me tell you I was trembling soooooo hard on the inside, and then I showed him the web site I am working on and also told him I was planning on launching it in two weeks. He was silent for a moment, made sure I was aware that "unfortunately, those kinds of organizations are solely supported through fund raising" paused, and then said "if that is what God wants you to do, then do it." I WAS SHOCKED! OOOOOHHHHHH YYYYYEEEEAAAAAHHH. I wanted to dance around the kitchen, but I kept a straight face and went to my room and did a YES-THANK-YOU-LORD dive onto my bed. I really can't tell you why it means so much to have his approval, but it does and I can't tell you how free I feel now.
So, the home is called Destiny's Refuge...it's going to take a miracle, but I know where to go for them. I am finishing up my final class at CCU and at the end of the class I hope to launch my website (destinysrefuge.org).